Medal Of Honor Recipient Invited To Join Crime-Fighting Superheroes G-Had August 28, 2012 Marine Corps 36 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: COLUMBIA, KY –Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer reported today that he has received his initial invitation to join the League of Valor, a vigilante crimefighting organization composed of Marines whose amazing acts of heroism have been gradually forgotten by the Marine Corps. “I was settling in for a nice quiet evening of polishing my gun collection and sharpening my knives, when I heard a muffled thump from outside,” Meyer told reporters. “When I opened the door with the muzzle of my AR-15, I found someone had nailed a letter to my house with this big ‘League of Valor’ letterhead. Of course they had nailed it through a Mexican drug lord’s head, so the rest was hard to read.” According to spokesman Jeremiah Workman, a former Marine and Navy Cross recipient, The League was formed in late 2008 after the Marine Corps began institutionally purging itself of all memories of the Iraq War. “I first noticed it in 2009 when I was doing an event for my book Shadow of the Sword. I had two PFCs come up to me and ask what my book was about. When I said the Second Battle of Fallujah, they got really confused and asked if Fallujah had anything to do with Tun Tavern or Opha Mae Johnson.” “It really hurt at first, but then I figured, hey, if nobody knows who I am, then I can pursue my real passion: a masked vigilante for justice.” The League is believed to be responsible for countless covert and crimefighting activities on behalf of the United States, both at home and abroad. It is headed by Navy Cross recipient Brian Chontosh, who disguises himself every day as mild-mannered Major Brian Chontosh, an instructor of Murderology at the United States Naval Academy. “The nice thing about the League is that it gives us a chance to give back to both the Marine Corps, and the country at large,” said Major Chontosh, while turning arch-nemesis Captain Destruction over to police. “With Sergeant Meyer, we figured we had another year or two before the Corps starts to forget Afghanistan, but after news of the 2012 drawdown came out, we figured we’d contact him as soon as we could.” The invitation to to the League comes at a busy time for Meyer — who already splits his activities between writing books that blast “TOC-roaches“, helping veterans find jobs after transition, and raising money for children of fallen Marines. Meyer said he’d already met the league first-hand and was intrigued, “as long as I don’t have to wear a mask or anything.” “Fortunately Sergeant Major Bradley Kasal told me that you only need a mask if people know who you are.” Major Chontosh, Sergeant Major Kasal, and Mr. Workman recently drove by Marine Corps Base Quantico, following their capture of a pair of bank robbers in nearby Fredericksburg. As they passed the base, they noticed the gate guards having an animated argument over whether or not Chesty Puller does push-ups, or pushes the world down. “Excuse me Marines,” Sergeant Major Kasal told them. “I’m Bradley Kasal. I just wanted to let you all know you’re doing a great job.” As they drove past, the first gate guard turned to the other and was heard asking, “Who the fuck was that?” Patrick Logan Reed says: August 1, 2014 at 11:44 PM You know it’s satire right? Michelle Dawn Lotz-Lynch says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM Why aren’t all the looney douchebags commenting on this “NEWSBREAKING” story? Oscar G. Dadula Jr. says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM That’s some funny shit right there!_ Sweet Daddy D. Mike Harris says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM Is it true that the commandant gen mattis funds this group with drug money, social security revenue, and the souls of our enemies killed in combat? I think i read that somewhere. Marine Times maybe…. Brian Dudley says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM Hard hitting journalism from the good people that brought us the revelation about the military ballots arriving a day late. Josh Buege says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM @Carl Just give it some time. Historical study sometimes requires decades to analyze and compile all the data and records available, and it will be even longer before pop culture and society truly understands the impact various events have on the course of our development as a nation. If we don’t see any historical reference of battles fought during GWOT 30-40 years from now, then I’ll share your sentiment. Isaac D. Pacheco says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM I snagged a covert shot of one of the League’s earliest gatherings in Quantico! http://www.flickr.com/photos/isaacpacheco/4406458077/ Michael Matunas says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM l served with Chontosh when he was a LCpl in NAS Keflivik Iceland…great Marine. Armando Muir says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM BTW, chesty puller does push the world down. Bazooka Joe says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM This will never fly – obama wasn’t asked to join these crusaders. And where the hell is SEALs Team 6? Carl Beutler says: January 3, 2014 at 3:55 AM Excuse the ignorance, but I really want to know: What’s up with the Marine Corps and not remembering their glory from OIF in the same way they immortalized their previous battles? It’s a chorus I hear from multiple sources and I (member of that other land-based branch) have a tenuous connection to the USMC at best. I know that plenty Marines can recount the life and times of that guy with the bayonet in the Korean War and other Marine legends; so what’s up with that? ForceReconS4 says: September 7, 2012 at 10:13 PM Waitaminnit, you mean the stories on TDB aren’t REAL??? - Sincerely, World Wrestling Entertainment Sigsauerkraut says: September 3, 2012 at 1:42 PM Paul: I know this is going to be really hard to believe so i want you to sit down for this…. are you sitting? I think there is a good chance that the guy with the name GySgtUSMC might not be smart enough to understand the meaning of satire. I know when i realized it it shook me to my core! I might have puked a little. If he does actually read the definition of…. well anything i am very afraid that his brain is going to implode, so GySgtUSMC if you are reading this, whatever you do, do NOT go to a dictionary site or wikipedia, this world would be lost without real american heroes like you here to defend the people that we are defending, in a comment on an article defending those people. HolyWOW says: August 30, 2012 at 2:49 PM Dakota’s initiation will be to complete Major Chontosh’s cross fit challenge lol…good luck devil. GySgtUSMC says: August 30, 2012 at 4:45 PM Got the satire thing guys and the article is good, but making degrading comments about a true hero is just wrong! http://www.marines.mil/community/pages/MedalofHonorSgtDakotaMeyer-Citation.aspx Paul says: September 3, 2012 at 12:43 PM No. You didn’t “get the satire thing.” If you had, you would see that it is a very clever poke at the Marine Corps who continues to beat the history of Chesty Puller and Smedley Butler into young Marines’ heads while completely forgetting heroes of our current conflicts like Meyer, Workman, Kasal, Dunham, and the list goes on. 10 years from now boot camp platoons will be yelling out, “it was good enough for Chesty Puller…. and its good enough for me,” instead of the many heroes of recent lore that are doing amazing things. Go read the definition of what satire actually means, then re-read the article. If you think we are degrading a true hero like Meyer, well then, there’s not really much hope for you. PFC Dunno says: September 10, 2012 at 3:51 PM Actually, they talk about Dunham quite a bit during MCMAP in boot camp and during the crucible. Gomer says: August 28, 2012 at 7:56 PM TWS, what’s this medal of horor that guy got ? Did he survive the DFAC running out of stir fry ? TWS says: August 28, 2012 at 11:43 PM No one survived that. Anyone who tells you different is a liar. Might as well be standing at ‘ground zero’ at a nuclear test site. Stir-fry is nothing to joke about or maybe it’s too soon to laugh about. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: August 29, 2012 at 2:19 AM I have been off the radar for about a week I need to get my commenting chops back… Cracking wise needs to come back. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: August 28, 2012 at 5:16 PM Well as we all know Chesty Puller defered to the might of Blackjack Pershing… GOD says: August 28, 2012 at 4:06 PM Jesus, I exile you! TWS says: August 28, 2012 at 1:38 PM I’m sorry but I am not buying this I think they’re just posers. This guy is breaking several rules of a crime fighting super team. First no face protection? Not even a tattoo, cowl, or even a 50′s porn mask? Second, no vehicles with the team logo? No mysterious van, invisible helicopters, or motorcycles that morph into a giant fighting robot? And I see no one following the rules for sidekicks. Where’s the dog rescued from an Indonesian diner menu? No underage ward in tights? They’re Marines not Navy so we can assume the ward will be a girl but where is she? No I think this one is shenanigans or else just regular crime fighters like the Guardian Angels. Jesus says: August 28, 2012 at 1:50 PM Are you fucking retarded? I mean seriously guy! What don’t you understand that this is satire, AKA COMEDY. Please, don’t breed, the world has enough stupid people. TWS says: August 28, 2012 at 3:22 PM Jesus, may I call you that, rather than ‘Mr. Christ’? I’m sorry maybe you can teach me I know you are the only perfect one out there (except maybe Mohammad PBUH, Buddha, the first Buddha, not the posers and Jim Jones). What is this ‘satire’ you write about? If ‘satire’ is COMEDY do we always have to ‘shout’ COMEDY? I thought I asked important questions and raised serious issues. Now you are saying ‘COMEDY’ aka ‘satire’. Let me take a stab at ‘satire’; Prayer to poser Jesus, Oh Great and insightful One, show me the way to satire, I am an ignorant sinner and only you, Jesus, the One true Lord of Blogosphere can light the way, Show me Lord Poser Jesus the salvation of COMEDY, Guide me with your mighty Stick of Slapping, Mold my shtick with your Adamant Shield of Irony, Grant me your favor so that I may comprehend the mysteries of your Double Entendre, Double Take, and Spit-Take, Lead me down the path of Parody for your Name’s Sake, But lead me not into the tears of Comedie Larmoyante, Saint Phyllis of the Diller, Archangel Stooges, Brothers Marx, and all the martyrs and prophets that have gone before me, Let me learn the ways of satire and COMEDY. There, let me know if I got the gist of satire. kelly shannon says: August 28, 2012 at 3:43 PM TWS, I think you should write for The DuffelBlog….if you don’t already. LOL TWS says: August 28, 2012 at 4:17 PM Thanks! I’ll take that compliment. I would have been gentler except for the ‘do not breed’ part. I take my breeding seriously. leftoftheboom says: August 28, 2012 at 3:56 PM I bow to your benevolent greatness. Michelle Lotz-lynch says: August 28, 2012 at 6:57 PM Jesus, if you took TWS post as serious…well let’s say you are the one does not understand what satire is. Really you took the navy’s love of men seriously? That was by far superior to your “witty” don’t breed comment. TWS says: August 28, 2012 at 11:38 PM No really, the Navy’s gay. The rest was sarcasm though. ;>) Casey says: September 11, 2012 at 9:22 PM Given that remark, I have to wonder about the reference to the “Mighty Stick of Slapping…” Bumpee says: August 29, 2012 at 2:10 AM Hahahaha…that some funny sheet…hahaha…whew! Lovelle says: November 2, 2012 at 12:55 AM Seems to me you’re the idiot that couldn’t tell that the guy above you was kidding….idiot.