South Carolina Police Hunt ‘Fake’ Drill Instructor G-Had September 20, 2012 Marine Corps 43 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: PARRIS ISLAND, SC – South Carolina State Police released a bulletin today announcing they were looking for a man who allegedly pretended to be a drill instructor and stole a recruit platoon at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island for several hours. The man, claiming his name was Staff Sergeant Hector Mantuf from 3rd Recruit Training Battalion, stole Platoon 3053 from the Receiving Building around 1pm yesterday. The platoon was formed up outside the building after receiving a routine class on the proper way to shave pubic hair in “a way fitting of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service,” according to a Depot spokesman. “This recruit’s Senior Drill Instructor had just walked away to go scream at passing cars when another drill instructor just walked right up and told the platoon to follow the drill instructor,” said Recruit Mark Tillens. Platoon 3053 was subsequently found in the woods near Page Field, where they had been ordered to stare at trees until further notice. There were no major injuries, but one recruit had received a broken finger, following his inability to stare at a tree and his platoon guide’s subsequent correction of this deficiency. When asked why no one questioned Mr. Mantuf’s credentials, Recruit Tillens responded, “This recruit has been trained to instantly obey orders, and the things the drill instructor wanted this recruit to do were so asinine and pointless, how could this recruit have possibly known the drill instructor was an impostor?” Others, like Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant Carl Rennell, think the recruits are to blame. “It should have been friggin obvious to any friggin recruit that this … uh, friggin individual wasn’t the real doggone deal. During our all-night friggin debriefing of the friggin platoon, one of the friggin recruits managed to gasp out that he was only two motherloving paces away from the platoon while friggin marching instead of the doggone required three.” “It’s friggin stuff like that that really gives you away as a motherloving fraud,” Staff Sergeant Rennell continued. “But we don’t blame our friggin recruits for not knowing… we blame their parents.” It is unknown how the individual managed to infiltrate Parris Island’s famous triple-layered security, consisting of a minefield, a 70-foot wall patrolled by armed guards, and a moat filled with man-eating alligators and lions. Brigadier General Lori Reynolds, the Commanding General of Parris Island, said that while she admired Mr. Mantuf’s ability to control and haze a platoon of recruits with no formal training, the drill instructor program is carefully controlled and monitored to ensure that the maximum number of Marines fulfill their B-billets. “Right now there is some poor Sergeant stuck being a combat instructor or on recruiting duty because of people like Mr. Mantuf.” General Reynolds added that, “If this individual simply wanted to haze our recruits, he could have just come for one of our family fun days. Last year one of our company first sergeants brought his one-year old daughter whose only words were ‘Push, bitch.’” The general continued, chuckling, “She had those recruits doing push-ups until the sun went down.” General Reynolds said that the Recruit Depot is working on preventing similar incidents from occurring in the future, possibly by branding recruit platoons or issuing drill instructors special whistles that only recruits can hear. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/zzxnr Joel Happ says: October 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM My only question, satire or not, is how a recruit got a broken finger. Lin Blackett says: October 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM I’d believe this if it was 1st or 2nd Bn slime but 3rd Bn would never fall for this. ;P Vernon Cunningham says: October 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM well that should solve future problems. Blame the drill instructer for leaving his troops to yell at passerbys. Of course I know this is in jest, but it is funny, and not so unbelievable. Josh Noble says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM There’s no way this man is a South Carolina native. Beaufort folks think the Lizard Man is real, if that tells you anything. David Mauk says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I remember during basic how we would blindly obey anybody with a campaign cover.. many times did I daydream about doing this.. it would be too easy. get a bus, and a campaign cover, and just call them all over onto the bus and away you go with your own, shiny brand new platoon of recruits. I probably would have just dropped them off in Oceanside and disappear into the sunset…. Cunning Linguists Inc. says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Push Bitch. Mike Harris Sr. says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Were they required to pair off for the pubic shaving class? Kevin Goodwin says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Absolutely friggin’ hilarious. Especially so for Marines. Danielle Wright says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Boy, I’ve been gone for awhile, or I wasn’t paying attention while I was there, because I don’t remember the moat with the lions. (I do remember the sign that says “We hope you enjoyed your stay,” though. Got a picture of that as the bus rolled off the island, LOL.) Tim Casey says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM lmfao ” I don’t blame the recruits…. I blame there parents”. Joseph Russo says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Whistles only a recruit can hear. Karen Merkley Pummell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Daddy’s little Devil Pup! Brought a tear to my eye! Bazooka Joe says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM ‘Mantuf’….just read and re-read if necessary or until I get tired. BWAHAHAHAHA! Btw, I seem to recall my SDI barking at passing cars…. Kevin Winters says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This one could really happen. We had a saying when I was a Drill Instructor, “3rd Battalion trains the world’s best recruits, and the day after graduation that is exactly what you have an extremely disciplined, highly trained……recruit.” They will stand in the rain oblivious to someone say’s “Hey Marine…. yeah you. Get in here it’s raining.” Or they will sit and watch a phone ring without blinking or flinching until someone tells them to answer it. Admittedly our 1st Battalion recruits were slightly less disciplined but the day after graduation the may not have been the world’s best recruits but they were basically trained Marines. Thomas J McEvilly says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This is too easy to imagine… Mike Harris says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM “i blame the parents” haha! Perfect. We hit the pit alot because our parents allowed us to grow up retarded rather than being aborted before bringing shame to the Corps. Plt 1079/ 2004. James Shuriff says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM holy shit. I literally think that was my platoon in that photo. Kaden Sanchez says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Dude this was our platoon! Haha what are the chances they use our photo Kurt Udseth says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM well done duffleblog. Joe Ezell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM i blame the recruits for not knowing this person was a fraud. just staring at trees is mindless harassment; staring at trees while in the pushup position teaches obedience, enhances observation skills and promotes physical fitness. Everyone of these maggots should be sent to the motivational platoon so they can distinguish real harassment from “wannabe” harassment. The Corps is getting soft. Niky Zapata says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM LMFAO I’m in that picture. That’s my platoon. 3045!! The story is pretty funny although the picture is pretty false but I would love to know where they found this picture. I’ve been looking everywhere for my platoon pictures! Lolsz Nicole Jordan says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY! READ THE DRILL INSTRUCTOR’S COMMENTS! Michael Swigert says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM THis is bullshit! VG Price says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM “Last year one of our company first sergeants brought his one-year old daughter whose only words were ‘Push, bitch.’”. LMAO.. very good. I applaud. My Senior had his 6 year old in one afternoon and junior showed us facing movements. We all watched from the quarterdeck, butt to nuts, and all I could think of was, ‘you poor kid’. Andrew Miracle says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM “Push, Bitch.” LOL! Armando Muir says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM It’s even funnier if you read the DI’s quote with the froggy voice in your head. Michael Kies says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM “This recruit’s Senior Drill Instructor had just walked away to go scream at passing cars….” I can picture this in my mind. Brian S. Hand says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Right now on Parris Island and at every other military basic training site there is a platoon staring at trees as a result of this story. Shawn Rayburn says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM They forgot about the sharks around the island. And after going through 3rd Bn India Co our motto was “we may not be smart, but we sure are strong!”…so this seems to be a pretty accurate story otherwise. I thought this was a satirical site? Hugh Dodwell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM One of my favourite articles of all time. SSGt says: October 24, 2012 at 2:56 PM Ooooh this is jacked, BG Reynolds is a awesome Marine. I know this is a joke but it pisses me off, she does not deserve this shit. Beard0311 says: September 24, 2012 at 8:01 PM PIDI – I heard a couple of em joking when I was a frickin nasty recruit in ’99 – one farted really loud and then screamed WHO LET THE LIEUTENANT ON DECK??? doggone frickin yahoo’s Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: September 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM Ft. Leonard Wood Detention Facility keeps its inmates secure by a dense forest populated by mutant hillbillies. At night you can hear the howling calls and dueling banjos. RC says: September 20, 2012 at 4:40 PM HA! I’m fucking CRYIN over here!!!! Darrell B says: September 20, 2012 at 3:06 PM Recruits’ fault: There was no mention of the DI blousing his uniform or checking the training schedule inside his cover every three minutes. And when was the last time ONE DI hazed recruits by himself? It’s usually a swarm of them without shit else to do. Fraud like that can be spotted by the most inexperienced person, even a stupid ass recruit. CPT 2003 says: September 20, 2012 at 1:20 PM (screamed in fake voice) “Oh is that freaking right?! I daggone stinking doubt it!!! DIG – DIG dig dig dig dig, faster, no I said faster, NO bend and thrust NO leg lifts NO bend and thrust NO – DIG – DIG dig dig dig dig” etc. Tom Heston says: September 20, 2012 at 12:34 PM Had the same damn thing happen to us in…’cept that there friggin poser marched us into the swamp. 3085, JUL-OCT 1977 Paul Smith says: September 20, 2012 at 11:45 AM BG Lori, the lady in charge needs to be replaced. Paul says: September 20, 2012 at 2:07 PM Since you are a probable voter, I think you need to replaced with someone more informed. Dan Kraus says: September 20, 2012 at 11:18 AM We never had to stare at trees but we did do rifle drills with our foot lockers. Bill says: September 20, 2012 at 2:29 PM My platoon had a wall locker fall-out in BCT Tom says: September 20, 2012 at 10:38 AM This. Was. Perfect.