Marines Begin Crashing Ospreys On Okinawa G-Had October 5, 2012 Marine Corps 32 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: OKINAWA, JAPAN – The Marine Corps has begun crashing its MV-22 Ospreys on Okinawa, a top Marine general has confirmed. Lt. Gen. Terry Robling, the commander of Marine Corps Forces Pacific, told Duffel Blog that Marine Medium Helicopter Squadron 265 (HMM-265, Motto: Look Out Below!) had crashed its first Osprey on the island at Marine Corps Air Station (MCAS) Futenma on Oct. 1 and will begin crashing additional Ospreys just as soon as they can be scraped off the tarmac of MCAS Iwakuni. The MV-22 Osprey, known affectionately by its crews as The Flying Pinto, is a revolutionary vertical takeoff and landing (VTOL) aircraft that can fly like a plane and hover like a block of cement. It’s operated with an exceptional safety record ever since the first one spontaneously blew up on the assembly line and has a history of outstanding operational crashes in Iraq, Afghanistan, Haiti, and Libya since the Marine Corps first began fielding them in 2005. “If you use the key metric of crashes while in-flight, the Osprey is the safest aircraft ever fielded in history,” Robling said, before adding that all of the Osprey’s crashes have occurred on the ground. Robling also said that after an extensive crash-test program, the Ospreys had been cleared to pancake into Japanese houses, hospitals, nuclear power facilities, and other landmarks, as well as the occasional general officer’s career. “HMM-265 spent the last few months practicing orientation crashes on the [Japanese] mainland, so the crews could get used to crashing the aircraft in and around Okinawa,” Robling said. “They’ve practiced low-speed crashes, high-speed crashes, day crashes, night crashes, crashes in any type of weather you can imagine.” Many of the pilots of HMM-265 are excited about the upcoming move. “My grandfather actually crashed his F4U Corsair into Shuri Castle back in 1945, and my father crashed his CH-46 onto some of the same airfields I’m going to be flying into,” said Osprey pilot Capt. Sam Fulco. Previously, the government of Okinawa had opposed allowing the Osprey to crash into Japanese soil after expressing concerns about its crash-worthiness. Okinawa’s governor, Hirokazu Nakaima, has argued that Japan has some of the highest crash standards in the world, many dating back to 1944. “We don’t just allow anyone to crash their planes into our island without ensuring that they will do so in a way that takes into account both our history and culture,” Nakaima said. Gen. Robling said that HMM-265′s Ospreys have been specially-modified for Okinawa crashes. “We’ve installed extra-leaky hydraulics and special flight-control software, so that as soon as the nose impacts the ground the tiltrotors are automatically jettisoned in different directions, before exploding on their own, ensuring the maximum amount of damage.” In addition, all Osprey crews will carry little rice cakes to hand out to any homeowners they inconvenience and have been repeatedly drilled on the proper Okinawan way to say “Forgiveness, please.” Robling said that while the Marine Corps will conduct its crashes in the most Japanese way possible, “we do respectfully refuse their request that at least 25 percent of our crashes be into American warships.” “We won’t go any higher than 8 percent,” he added. Trevor Tranchina says: May 31, 2014 at 1:14 PM I was at WTI in AZ when that Osprey crashed at Marana. So fuck this article. Not funny at all. BigGator Chris says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Oh, this is going to generate quite the shitstorm! Well done! Ervikar Von Glocken says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Seems people have caught on, no one freaked out about this one. Good work guys. Michelle Dawn Lotz-Lynch says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Totally worth reading on my fucked up phone while visiting my mother. J Joel Hendry says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Funniest Satire to date. Art Axelson says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM This is one of your funniest articles ever. Jim Jenkins says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM It is about time the Harrier had some competition over which aircraft is the most crash worthy. Tom Tesmar says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM The only thing more dangerous than a helicopter in the hands of a 1Lt is a helicopter that thinks it is an airplane. Walt Miller says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM This article sounds eerily plausible. Peter Kirk says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM hell,,,, just use them in afganistan as our own version of an I.E.D. Doc Victor Moss says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Flying Pinto, now that’s funny. VG Price says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM LOL..”Flying IED”.. man I needed a laugh. Mike Harris Sr. says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM The Japanese were the first in flight school training of take-offs only. Landings were not required. Joaquin Garcia says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM We call then “The Ol Camp Lejeune Lawn Dart”. Dick Miale says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM My understanding is that pilot and crew are required to wear double issue of Depends prior to takeoff. That way they have coverage on take off and again on landing, or whichever occurs 1st. Frank Cates says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM Good news, Congressman John Boner said that as soon as big business got the billion dollars back that they gave us for the election they just lost that funding will be cut. He also said that Obama personaly designed the Osprey. Bill Waymouth says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM weasel26, wind 090 @ 12 altimeter 2995, cleared to crash bounce and burn. Report third impact. Cunning Linguists Inc. says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM The MV-22 Osprey, known affectionately by its crews as The Flying Pinto, is a revolutionary vertical takeoff and landing (VTOL) aircraft that can fly like a plane and hover like a block of cement. Keith Mac Cracken says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM that’s some funny shit…. Drew Court says: January 24, 2014 at 10:54 AM It has just come out that the Marines of HMM-265 will be wearing Alphas for working uniforms while in Okinawa and the Aircrew shall be in Blues whenever they are flying. It is to ensure that they do not come off as too informal while apologizing to the local populace in and around the burning rubble that used to be schools, hospitals, day care centers, etc. CS says: October 15, 2012 at 7:26 PM One of those crashed in our back yard area when I was like 11 around Camp Lejeune (Half Moon, NC area) and they were supposed to not use them after that first crash. It’s a shame we keep making things we can’t freaking properly maneuver. Mike P says: October 6, 2012 at 8:04 AM Lived on Okinawa in ’69, had a B-52 crash in a civilian neighborhood. Riding a bus to school with wire over the widows and an armed M.P.escort is fun when you’re in second grade! Army Wife (P) says: October 6, 2012 at 12:56 AM loved it. radglock says: October 5, 2012 at 10:35 PM By far one of the best yet!! Darrell B says: October 5, 2012 at 3:30 PM This one isn’t so satirical. When you get down to accurately referencing 265′s motto, it gets pretty real. Pete B says: October 5, 2012 at 9:36 AM first Paul says: October 5, 2012 at 9:51 AM Congratulations, Ricky Bobby. Army Wife (P) says: October 6, 2012 at 12:58 AM i lived my whole life by that?! whaddya mean you can be fifth? Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM Dang it Army Wife (P) you commented and made my third look all messed up… Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM Crap….so did I… Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 5, 2012 at 2:26 PM third!!! wooooooo!!!!! yay!!!