Vice Presidential Candidates Talk Tough On Afghan War, Military Paul October 12, 2012 News 19 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: DANVILLE, KENTUCKY – In a ninety minute debate last night, Vice Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan engaged in a verbal war in their effort to win votes on November 6. Unlike the previous week’s Presidential debate, a large focus was on foreign policy, the war in Afghanistan, and military members. After an initial question and answer on domestic issues, the moderator turned the attention to military service — asking specifically about the war in Afghanistan. “We are leaving in 2014, no doubt about that,” said Vice President Joe Biden on the drawdown of troops. “I’ve been to Afghanistan over 20 times. I know what it’s like. I’ve been into the Korengal Valley, mostly in a helicopter, sometimes in a vehicle.” Paul Ryan responded, challenging Biden and the President on the use of a timetable for the withdrawal of troops. “We should not give our enemies a timeframe so they can just wait us out,” Ryan said. “Listen, this is malarkey. Let me tell you something, sonny,” said Biden, throwing his arms up in disgust. “Quick story. So there I was, balls deep in a hooker’s… wait. Wrong story.” He continued: “So there I was, no shit, flying over Afghanistan.” An audible gasp erupted in the room at Biden’s use of profanity. “Hey cut that shit out, listen up,” Biden continued with a grin. “So we started taking fire and we had to do an emergency landing in a field. The soldiers secured the perimeter and we got into a firefight. Across the way, we see some Afghan army troops on an adjacent road — it looks like they were digging a foxhole over there or something — they came over to help and the Taliban left.” “That incident showed me, and I can say to you now — the Afghan forces are leading and they can take over their own security.” After Biden’s vivid recollection of his daring under fire, Ryan also tried to boast of his experience in the region. “I’ve also been to Afghanistan and spoken with our troops. I remember talking with Specialist Frank Alvarado of the 82nd Airborne. I asked him, ‘What do you think we should be doing in Afghanistan?'” “The soldier was hesitant at first. His First Sergeant looked over at him, did a slicing motion across his neck as if to say ‘Cut it out with the scared routine, go ahead and say what you want to say’. Then he looked at me and said, ‘Mr. Ryan, we need to stay here indefinitely, help the Afghan people, and ensure this country never again becomes a safe haven for terrorists.'” After this exchange, the discussion moved to debt and deficits. Biden was quick to point out that the U.S. ending the Afghan war would “basically save us like a million gazillion dollars.” “Gazillion isn’t even a real number,” responded Ryan, who heads the House Budget Committee. Both candidates then argued for a full two minutes using only “Uh huh” and “Nuh huh” before moving on to other topics. Micah Albrecht says: July 30, 2014 at 3:29 AM I want to hear the hooker story instead. Peter Kirk says: April 16, 2014 at 1:54 AM and I was, so, looking foreward too seeing BIG bird as the moderator! Michelle Dawn Lotz-Lynch says: April 16, 2014 at 1:54 AM I like it when people cuss…makes me feel good…fucking a! Sean Forsythe says: April 16, 2014 at 1:54 AM Caption for picture above should be: Obamas dick is this big!!! Mike Harris says: April 16, 2014 at 1:54 AM I believe someone was called a poo poo head and i think i heard “big dumb stupid head” during the debate as well. Rumor has it the.moderator had to remind them about the federal govs law against bullying. Mike Harris Sr. says: April 16, 2014 at 1:54 AM Biden was presented the Silver Star for being the first to exit the aircraft. The Afghans were pissed off because they were interrupted burying their IED at the airfield. Biden took up a quick collection of MREs to distribute to them in a attempt to appease their anger. For this, Biden won the V for valor device, to be added to his Combat Action Ribbon. Biden then demanded to know why lunch wasn’t ready. BOB says: October 16, 2012 at 11:35 AM “Both candidates then argued for a full two minutes using only “Uh huh” and “Nuh huh” before moving on to other topics.”….Priceless! Thank you! leftoftheboom says: October 12, 2012 at 10:20 PM Man the Pres. has to keep Biden out of Afghanistan because he would win the damn war with just one or two more missions. Kept it really real; if he could just spend like one or two more days, the taliban would have given up. They ain’t gonna pull no malarky on ole Joe. Why isn’t old Joe running for Pres? Shit, he would win. We need a combat vet like him in office. And his mom working two jobs and standing on the corner just spices up his history. WHY God? WHY can’t we have BIDEN for PRES? He believes in the PEOPLE MAN! We should all want to be his servants. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 13, 2012 at 12:44 PM I think there is something in the constitution about his teeth. If he were elected to the presidency there would be endless challenges to his legitimacy due to the fact that he hypnotized the public and the electoral college with his teeth. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 12, 2012 at 2:18 PM Hell I like Joe Biden, he’s flown all over Iraq and Afghanistan, that makes us just like bros! Hell he can come over to my house and fuck my sister. QB says: October 12, 2012 at 2:59 PM He has been the last four years… Semper Fi, Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 12, 2012 at 6:12 PM I know it was so awesome all those time he did route clearance! He is a bad ass! crazy cracker says: October 12, 2012 at 8:09 PM Most of his route clearance missions were from uavs. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 13, 2012 at 11:35 PM He perfected the UAV hang… Darrell B says: October 12, 2012 at 1:43 PM Biden said “shit”. That’ll work. Jerry Beingesser says: October 12, 2012 at 11:39 AM Joe Biden won because he has better teeth. Ragnar says: October 12, 2012 at 12:52 PM Well, more teeth at least. Stupid_America says: October 12, 2012 at 9:46 AM UGh… Balls Deep… Mike says: October 12, 2012 at 9:10 AM Oh boy, the Korengal…bad memories. Good times.