Veteran Arrested For Attempting To Secure IED Site On Colorado Freeway Rob November 13, 2012 News 17 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: BOULDER, CO – A former Marine was arrested Monday for stopping morning traffic on the Denver-Boulder Turnpike, in an apparent attempt to call in an Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit to clear the road. By the time the Colorado State Patrol arrived on scene, the Marine had already moved vehicles 300 meters away from what was reported to be a dead deer, and had positioned himself on a nearby overpass. “He didn’t appear to be crazy,” reported Colorado State Patrol Sheriff Ralph Sparkowitz. “In fact, a few of my men were a little confused and actually started to follow his instructions to post security at his six- and nine-o’-clock.” Susie Johnson, a bank manager on her way to work at First National Bank, felt the former Marine had the situation completely under control. “I never really thought about it before, but animal carcassas really would make a great place for hiding a bomb,” admitted Johnson. “And those insurgents will stop at nothing to take our freedom!” Other drivers left the scene slightly confused. “He kept yelling at us to do our ‘fives and twenty-fives,’” explained construction worker Donald Opatrny. “He yelled at everyone on the bus when they started using their cell phones to let their jobs know they’d be late,” said GO Boulder bus driver Randall Keane. The Marine Corps has yet to release a statement regarding the incident. However, the local Veteran Affairs (VA) office where the Marine was heading released a statement late Tuesday afternoon stating, “The VA believes our veterans possess valuable skills that are applicable to today’s workforce. We look forward to working with the Colorado Division of Wildlife to find this veteran, and many other qualifying veterans, meaningful jobs clearing Colorado’s roads of wildlife that have been struck by vehicles. This is just one of many ways the VA helps our nation’s veterans become productive members of society.” Martin Rainey, another veteran who was arrested last month for causing a three-hour delay on Colorado’s I-25 after refusing to drive past a cardboard box, now works for Colorado’s Department of Transportation, where he supervises inmates cleaning the interstate. “I’d do anything to get back in the Army,” Rainey admits. “Civilians are just oblivious to the dangers around them. They’re like a bunch of sheep, ignoring the wolf … or whatever that saying is.” In unrelated news, three people nearly drowned when their SUV rolled into a roadside stream late this afternoon. Michael James de Mare says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM LOL! Brandon Clark says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM LOVE IT! Doc Bailey says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Did he make any suspicious arabs do sand angels? William Mahoney says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Classic, Yelling at people to do their 5 and 25′s… Hilarious John Jennings says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM sweet! another DB spoof that my FB friends are sure to think is a real news story… a minor quibble, the picture appears to have been taken in CO springs, not boulder, I’m pretty sure that’s pike’s peak in the background. Timothy Jay Queen says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Throw in a few comments about “Hands in pockets” and “Reflective Vests” and this would have been pure gold…as it stands, I’ll give it an 8. Travis Daisy Morrill says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Let’s be honest, who hasn’t been there? Alan W Dix says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Ok, I admit switching lanes when I see crap on the side of the freeway. And I look down and around my vehicle when I get out. And I don’t appear crazy. Jason D Sousley says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Totally legit story, hell the other day I blocked off the highway because I was suspicious of some garbage on the side of the road. Hey you have the rest of your life to get where you are going… Ervikar Von Glocken says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM As a local I find it extra amusing that the photo is the intersection of Austin Bluffs and North Academy Blvd in Colorado Springs, a good 45 to an hour away from Boulder/Denver. Great article though! Josh Noble says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM As a sailor, all I do is quit talking when someone makes an announcement on the Wal-Mart loudspeaker. Damien R Johnson says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM 5s and 25s. Dam civilians gonna get someone killed not paying attention Joshua Walsh says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Va is working on getting veterans jobs cleaning up highways of dead animals (P-IED’s)… Mike Harris says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Hold up. You people ever been to boulder CO? those people would have spit on him and called him baby killer after learning he was a U.S. Service member.lol. Get your facts straights!! Its hard to believe your satire when you make obvious mistakes. Haha! Brian Keith says: January 3, 2014 at 3:09 AM Would be hilarious! I know after my second deployment my balls would clinch up a little bit on accident when I would pass by some trash on the side of the road. I also had a nasty habit of changing lanes quickly under overpasses. leftoftheboom says: November 13, 2012 at 7:36 PM They don’t know 5′s and 25′s. Well that is bull because it is 0′s, 5′s, and 25′s. That Marines needs to be retrained. That is the real travisty here. The DMV needs to have a sniper lane, and walk through lane and and driving lane for CIED. Damn civilians need to know what they are up against. Every County needs a fully certified instructor and they need to have level one classes in high school. WE MUST BE VIGILANT! these things I say says: November 13, 2012 at 2:28 PM Civilians lack the proper exposure to powerpoint presentations.