$387 Billion Congressional Study Proves 'Pen Not Mightier Than The Sword'

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A newly released study conducted by Congress has proven once and for all that the pen is not mightier than the sword. Over a year long period, Special Operation Forces (SOF) serving in Afghanistan were outfitted with pens as their primary weapon of engagement, instead of the standard M-4 assault rifle.

The $387 billion study was the brainchild of Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), a member of the U.S. Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Defense.

"Military spending has spiraled out of control," Sen. Feinstein explained to Duffel Blog reporters. "Since the pen is mightier than the sword, as the saying goes, why not equip the military with inexpensive pens? When deciding on the cost of weapons used by soldiers to defend their lives, we must keep the taxpayers welfare in mind."

"Not only that -- no one needs a military-style, semi-automatic assault rifle to hunt Taliban," she added.

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