U.S. Military Divorcing Afghanistan For Hotter, Sexier War
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – The United States Military and Afghanistan will be getting a divorce after eleven years of war so the U.S. can pursue a hotter, sexier war, senior government officials have told Duffel Blog. The pending divorce is mutual.
The U.S. Military has already released a statement saying, "While we appreciate all the love and support Afghanistan has given us, particularly in justifying our defense budget, after over a decade together conflicts sometimes just get boring and stale. We're not a one-war kind of service."
The U.S. Military has also cited irreconcilable problems with Afghanistan's in-law Pakistan.
Afghanistan has listed its own complaints: that the U.S. Military has a wandering eye for "any younger war that doesn't need as much work done. We don't know how the Israelis and Palestinians have managed to keep theirs going for sixty-five years."
Afghanistan has also complained that the U.S. Military is frequently inattentive to their needs, forgetting their anniversary …
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