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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Saturday, 17 October 2026

OpFor

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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Vol. 15 · No. 124

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Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

17 October 2026

1206 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

U.S. Military divorcing Afghanistan for hotter, Sexier war

Filed · 1545

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – The United States Military and Afghanistan will be getting a divorce after eleven years of war so the U.S. can pursue a hotter, sexier war, senior government officials have told Duffel Blog. The pending divorce is mutual.

The U.S. Military has already released a statement saying, "While we appreciate all the love and support Afghanistan has given us, particularly in justifying our defense budget, after over a decade together conflicts sometimes just get boring and stale. We're not a one-war kind of service."

The U.S. Military has also cited irreconcilable problems with Afghanistan's in-law Pakistan.

Afghanistan has listed its own complaints: that the U.S. Military has a wandering eye for "any younger war that doesn't need as much work done. We don't know how the Israelis and Palestinians have managed to keep theirs going for sixty-five years."

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