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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 128 · Monday, 26 October 2026

Army

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

Army officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

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Vol. 15 · No. 128

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 128 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

26 October 2026

0546 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

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· Page 2

Marines in Afghanistan spending all their savings on zombie apocalypse

Filed · 1545

HELMAND PROVINCE, AFGHANISTAN - The Marines of Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 5th Marines, deployed out of Camp Pendleton, CA are no strangers to conflict. During the last four months this group of hardened warriors has been engaged in savage combat with the Taliban for control of the Sangin region, critical to both sides in what have become the final years of the US war in Afghanistan. All Marines, from the newest boot private to the grizzled gunnery sergeants, have become proficient in the art of killing.

Unfortunately, these same highly trained veterans have begun to devote a larger and larger portion of their personal funds towards planning for a very slight possibility: the Zombie Apocalypse.

Many believe that some time in the near future, the undead will walk the earth as reanimated corpses, plunging the world into a state of anarchy and bloodshed where only the strong will prevail.

Captain Julian Abraham, a finance officer rotating through the area, was the first to discover the problem.

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