FOB LAGMAN, AFGHANISTAN — A second lieutenant with 4th Battalion, 25th Infantry Regiment was excited about finally being in "real combat" after being assigned a guard shift in a perimeter tower, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Second Lieutenant John Seever, an assistant operations officer, was pleasantly surprised after receiving a memorandum from the commander stating that all staff officers would be required to pull a guard shift. In the memo, the commander wrote that he'd be giving the enlisted soldiers a rest day as a reward for their near-constant patrols around the area.

"This is so awesome!" declared the excited Lieutenant. "I'm so sick of being someone's Power Point bitch all day long. Now I'll finally be in the fight. Man, I hope I get to shoot someone!"

Not everyone on the FOB in Zabul Province was as supportive of the idea as Seever. Staff Sergeant Mark Shokley, the Sergeant of the Guard (SOG) for the day, expressed skepticism.