PANJWAI, AFGHANISTAN — U.S. Army Capt. Mike Aldrich hunches over his makeshift desk at Forward Operating Base Sperwan Ghar. He is the commander of Alpha Company, 1-16th Infantry Regiment, and currently nearing the end of a marathon 13 hour planning session. Functioning mainly on caffeine powders and poorly made coffee, the haggard officer is surrounded by a sea of crumpled notebook paper. On his walls are two white boards filled top to bottom with scratch work.
His job is not easy. In about 20 minutes, one of his platoons will be leaving the wire for an early morning combat patrol with the Afghan National Army. Joint missions like this always receive a lot of attention from higher headquarters, and Aldrich is still struggling to find a cool sounding name that will really pop when he talks about it in the battalion update brief tomorrow night.
“It’s getting down to the last second now," Aldrich says. "At first I was gonna go with Operation Anvil Hammer Sweep, you know, since we’re Anvil company. But then I thought, Anvil…Hammer… that’s too obvious. People will think I’m not even trying.”
He sighs and gestures to the heap around him on the floor. “I’ve been at this for hours. I really wanted to work something that makes it sound badass. Like Operation Whore Smashing Hammer.”
The captain chuckles.
“I wish, right? That one would definitely turn some heads in the battalion brief," Aldrich tells Duffel Blog. "I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t send the right message to the locals though. All about hearts and minds here. Maybe Operation Stealth Badass, since we’re going out early in the morning?"
Aldrich pauses for a moment, and looks back at his paperwork.
"Damn. Stealth makes me think of the F-117, and I don’t want someone to think my company is some weak Chair Force unit. Plus I don't think you can use profanity in the name. That's a real shame. I was kind of leaning towards Operation Taliban Cock Stomp. That one had kind of a nice ring to it.”
