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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 133 · Saturday, 7 November 2026

Pete Hegseth picks wrong week to stop drinking

Pentagon staffing delays leave secretary sober for worst 48 hours of his career

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

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Vol. 15 · No. 133

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Vol. 15 · No. 133 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

7 November 2026

0453 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

Meet the Army's Friendliest soldier: Claims 2,746 confirmed friends

Filed · 1544

FORT BRAGG, NC — In a gripping new tell-all memoir, Army Sgt. 1st Class Marshall 'Snugglebear' Welch has revealed that over the course of his three deployments to Afghanistan, he has accumulated an incredible tally of more than 2,700 confirmed friends on Facebook.

According to a press release from his publisher, Welch estimated his friend-count by keeping a logbook tally of friend requests and care packages received.

"Some days I got so many of them I couldn't keep count – I had to go on a 'best-guess' type of estimate," Welch told reporters. Detractors, however, believe that the numbers may be padded for publicity.

His forthcoming memoir, Pinocchio, tells the story of Welch's multiple deployments in such vivid detail that some readers can hardly believe it.

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