FORT BRAGG, NC — In a gripping new tell-all memoir, Army Sgt. 1st Class Marshall 'Snugglebear' Welch has revealed that over the course of his three deployments to Afghanistan, he has accumulated an incredible tally of more than 2,700 confirmed friends on Facebook.

According to a press release from his publisher, Welch estimated his friend-count by keeping a logbook tally of friend requests and care packages received.

"Some days I got so many of them I couldn't keep count – I had to go on a 'best-guess' type of estimate," Welch told reporters. Detractors, however, believe that the numbers may be padded for publicity.

His forthcoming memoir, Pinocchio, tells the story of Welch's multiple deployments in such vivid detail that some readers can hardly believe it.