Dear Mr. Football Player,

I saw on Twitter you think it's easy and takes no skills to kill people. Well, let me tell you this. It takes mad skills and madder smarts to be an infantryman. Everyone thinks we're dumb and borderline illiterate but some of the smartest people I know are in the military and they have amazing people killing skills.

Think about it. Is there any more useful skill in this world than killing people when the shit hits the fan? In case you're wondering, the answer is no.

But it's not just about pulling a trigger. Any idiot can do that. Hell, being a NFL player, I'm sure you know how to do that better than me. Then again, when I tried it your way by holding my M9 sideways, I ended up missing my target and killed a local sheikh's prized goat.