WASHINGTON, DC — Washington Redskins' owner Dan Snyder stunned the football community this weekend when he announced plans to change the name of his team from the Redskins to the Washington Veterans.
"Look, I know I said 'never,' but this way everyone wins and we can finally have a team that doesn't offend anyone," Snyder told reporters an impromptu press conference.
He was dressed in a camouflage uniform twirling the team's new emblem: an imitation Medal of Honor, which fans can buy at concession stands. He added that in keeping with the new military motif, the Washington Veterans will also no longer participate in the NFL draft, but will be an all volunteer team.
Snyder also invited reporters to FedEx Field, where loyal Washington fans were getting introduced to the "new" Washington Veterans. As the team took the field, hundreds of fans stood up to cheer, holding urinalysis cups and sexual assault prevention documents, while waving their styrofoam DD214's.
