First Sergeant With GED Tells Corporal He’ll ‘Never Make It On The Outside’ Paul November 6, 2013 Marine Corps 22 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: PrevNextUse your ← → (arrow) keys to browse A 1st Sgt. tells his Marines that receiving 14-hour liberty briefs every Friday after work is all part of the “best job in the world.” CAMP PENDLETON, CA — A first sergeant with more than 20 years of service in the Marine Corps and a high school equivalency degree told a corporal being discharged after four years to attend college that there’s no way he’ll ever make it on the outside, sources confirmed. Cpl. Steven Winters, 23, an infantryman with multiple deployments who was recently accepted to Columbia University in New York, will be “crawling back to the Corps within months,” according to 1st Sgt. Ted Harris. “These young Marines don’t understand what they are giving up,” said Harris while spitting Copenhagen into a nearly-full 2-liter soda bottle. “This is the greatest job in the world. Where else do you get to get drunk, shoot things, and get a paycheck for it?” Indeed, sources confirmed the Marine Corps is likely the only place where you get a paycheck for getting drunk and shooting things. A Duffel Blog investigation found that Marines also get to live in barracks with security cameras and guard dogs, caged security doors for their rooms, and have incompetent bosses called “Majors” that get them killed on a daily basis in combat. “Winters thinks he’s one of these smarty-pants kids. Mr. Ivy League, whatever the hell that is,” said Harris. “You don’t need no daggone education to understand things in the world. I know whatever my sergeant major tells me, and I get guaranteed pay. What more do you need?” “The only book these daggone devil dogs need to read is the daggone PES manual,” he added. So far, Winters has saved up his money before getting out to pursue a degree in international relations at one of America’s top universities. He’s planning on possibly going for his Masters before moving on to become a consultant or civilian contractor for the Marine Corps where he can eventually tell Harris what to do. “The grass isn’t always greener out there,” Harris said. “There’s scary things like reading, and people who don’t eat Copenhagen for lunch. I know he’ll be back.” Thomas Peavy says: May 27, 2014 at 6:59 PM I had a Navy Commander give me my re-up lecture and I was told only a fraction of a percent of Sailors like me who say they are going to college actually finish. I assured this arrogant SOB that I would be in that fraction of a percent. I took a GED in the USN and had a reasonable experiential education there. Once out I completed undergraduate, graduate and Post Doctoral work in major state universities. I went into the Reserve as an enlisted man and bumped my way up the ranks to Senior Chief Petty Officer. I always took pride in being a Senior Enlisted man with an academic doctorate. Like I said to the arrogant SOB who attempted to diminish me, I am in the fraction of a percent he noted. He became an Admiral and I became his Academic Superior since he never held a Doctorate. Go for the Gold Marine and screw those who try and hold you back. Advice from Doc. Semper Fi Donald King says: April 16, 2014 at 1:09 AM I spend 20 years in the Army and retired. I got out and got a civilian job immediately. Took an entry level position, but over the 20 years since I have retired have worked my way up. I have never drawn unemployment and very proud of that!! I got my college degree while in the Military and damned proud of that! I have never asked for handouts!!! I have worked part time jobs , while working full time (yes one time as a Burger King shift manager!) There are jobs out there and some will train you and you can even earn a degree while training. The GI bill is worth it’s weight in gold to a person willing to pursue a degree and one’s military training will count, even if you’re an Infantryman. The military is not all about getting drunk and having a good time. I worked very long hours and moved a lot over the years. There are very good leaders and there are some piss poor ones. The piss poor officers eventually get weeded out as do the enlisted ones. You get out of the military what you take out of it. Oh, yes now I can put my hands in my pockets. I am a civilian now!! But I still have my military pride!! Michael Swain says: January 3, 2014 at 2:09 AM if you talk to anyone outside of the military they will tell you to go to school. We I came up to reenlistment I told my company commander I wanted to go to school. The guy making people stand at attention told me a didn’t need to go to school. The one wearing captains bars. I blew him off. I went to school now I have captains calling me SIR. Whoever reads this believe in yourself and you will have what you want!!! We used to the the peasant, its so much to turn the tables Roy Hammock says: January 3, 2014 at 2:09 AM We used to listen to that bullshit all the time. Anonymous says: January 3, 2014 at 2:09 AM Not true, that young corporal will make it….I have seen many times over those that get out with a plan like his to attend Columbia. The ones I am worried about are the ones who don’t get out with a plan. That 1stSgt needs to educate himself about our Marines. Ricky Grassley says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM boot Angelo Casali says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM He can always strip. Spencer Roberg says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM PES manual? I think you mean Message to Garcia, or at least First to Fight. Andrew Cole says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM Who says TDB is satire? Pretty much happened to me – even when my MOS was frozen for re-enlistments. Braydon Clendenning says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM I Feel LiKe This Article Makes Us LooK Way Worse Than We Are. No, We Do Not Get Paid To Get Drunk And Shoot Things. Chris Peters says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM ROFL I heard that speech a few times. “You’ll be back”. Respect towards First Sergeants though, as they only say it because it happens quite a lot. Josh Noble says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM And his goddam moostash hairs is out of alignment! Carol Phillips says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM While teaching a ‘Common Task’ class in PLDC, I was reamed out by the SFC Cadre for not reading from my Common Task Manual word-for-word. I told him that, in college (Speech class) I was trained NOT to read from text word-for-word. He let out a mouthful of expletives about “stupid college . . . 3!#@)*#! . . . ” He was a complete . . . hole. The entire way through. (BTW, he also busted his Kevlar helmet during an FTX because someone pissed him off. Yeah. Anger management needs, that one. David Vine says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM As SSgt Rizzo said in “M*A*S*H”, “Where else can you be a bum and get paid for it??” Joe Joseph says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM This is good stuff man…….its good PR for those left behind who heard this…I would have and did it to my Marines leaving…and I know the 1st Sgt is proud that one of his Marines is gonna make something of himself outside……he just will not say it…. Chuck Hallbert says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM But what about that multiple? There’s just no way that I can spend the remainder of 20k,after taxes take back 3/4 of it. Besides my girl ling ling needs a replacement boob job if she’s ever going to get her mom out of hock. Joseph Basile says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM Yeah, it took me a minute to realize this one wasn’t fake. Our Sergeant Major dragged all us EASers into the auditorium to ask what we were doing, and explain that in 6 months we’d be broke, jobless, and begging to get back in the Corps. Stupid thing to say to all of us. I had a full ride scholarship, the Marine I was sitting next to had made a stack of cash investing, another was going off to be a deputy sheriff in a county where his uncle was sheriff and his dad was a county commissioner. Telling us we’d all be begging to come back was really, really stupid. Ken McPherson says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM This is among the reasons I got out. I love the reminder as I sit in my house with my family with no drunk boots calling me, no staff sergeants calling needing a last minute duty filled, no 7 page leave/liberty request to leave the local for the weekend and no leadership lacking either an education, street smarts, or both, telling me how to live my life. Jo Jo Bubba Junior says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM Wait a minute…this must be a vapor lock from 1975. For one thing Columbia University has a standing order that no prior service are admitted due to the potential Terrorist threat they impose as stated by Janet Napolitano of DHS. On top of that all students must show proof of being part of the Kennedy bloodline/family tree and I doubt there is anyone named Winters there. Plus everyone knows that not one single Marine First Sgt spits his Copenhagen…they all swallow which is required to become a Gunny Sgt in the Corps. This article just reeks of fabrication especially because most troops already have at least a master’s degree from doing on-line courses during all those deployments. Now if it would have said that he was going to get a law degree from Yale or Harvard or become a neuro surgeon at Johns Hopkins or Duke on VA benefits it would have been more believable. Dan Widge says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM The funny part is, this ain’t funny, it’s been so true for as long as I can think back. As NG pukes who got attached to Reg Army in Iraq, most of us had prior deployments, degrees and regular day jobs, where as the Reg Army 1st Sgt couldn’t have gotten a job at Burger King. Prithvi Jagannath says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM At Columbia University, are you allowed to keep your hands in your pockets? I’m asking for a friend. Alex Grncarovski says: December 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM A Sgt in the Army/Marine Corps/Insert whatever military here, was mean to someone under him in the chain of command. That NEVER happens.