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Dead AK-47 inventor to be buried in mud for a week, cleaned off, then put back to work

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MOSCOW — Russia has announced funeral arrangements for Lt. Gen. Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, inventor of the AK-47 assault rifle.

“Comrade Kalashnikov will be buried in a pit of mud with full military honors,” said General-Major Saiga Molot, a spokesman for the Russian army. “After a week, we will exhume his body, clean it off, and put him back to work. We expect that there shall be no issue with his functions.”

Kalashnikov died of complications from a liver transplant operation. The liver Kalashnikov received was allegedly Romanian, but turned out to be a substandard Albanian version.

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