FORT LEE, VA — A soldier who graduated basic training two weeks ago has accepted a position as BuzzFeed's senior military advisor, submitting his first article to the publication titled "18 Things You Should Know About Army Life."

Private Jarod Washburn, 18, now attending U.S. Army Transportation School, wrote the incredibly insightful article while home on leave after basic training. Like most BuzzFeed articles, it's written in a list format complete with animated GIF images ranging from one featuring soldiers firing rifles in combat to kittens masturbating to Beyonce music.

"Every time you speak, you have to shout at the top of your lungs," writes Washburn in his first point. "Then you have to finish your sentence with Sir! or Drill Sergeant!"

Washburn goes on to list other points, to include that "cool guys wear Army or unit apparel at all times" and advises fellow soldiers that they should "remain humble but point out your military service at every opportunity."