Atheist Lieutenant Annoys Entire Platoon Into Christianity

FORT SILL, Okla. — An Army platoon leader was shocked to learn that his entire platoon had converted to Christianity en masse this week, despite his condescending and lengthy talks about his own lack of belief in God.

“I just can’t understand it,” said 1st Lt. Edward Garrison from his office, still dazed at hearing the news. “I mean, you figure there wil…