THE PENTAGON — The U.S. Army will phase out its Chaplain Corps over the next three years, according to a leaked memo from the office of the Undersecretary of the Army For Diversity and Inclusion. The document suggests that the change will be in line with an as-yet undisclosed Presidential initiative to “completely desegregate” the military.

Questions to the White House on this new initiative went unanswered, but West Wing staff confirmed on background that the administration is currently focus-grouping a policy shift toward a religion-free, sexuality-neutral military.

Referencing the recent repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the all-army memorandum (called an ALARACT) says the Army will “lead the way in further bringing the military into a future where all servicemembers are free of bigotry, exclusion and intolerance, and where all identities, family structures and lifestyles are celebrated and supported equally.”