Meteorologists Forecast Bowe Bergdahl Shit Storm Lee Ho Fuk June 2, 2014 Army 19 Comments WEATHER WARNING #06-02 REQUEST WIDEST DISSEMINATION TO ALL UNITS IVO THE INTERNETS SHIT STORM WARNING VALID TIME: 140602/1330D (140602/0900Z) – 140602/1930D (140602/1500Z) FORECASTER: CWO WEINER/METOC/TACC/DSN: 357-6666 HIGH SPEED SHIT STORMS ARE OCCURRING OR ARE FORECASTED TO OCCUR WITHIN 10NM OF TWITTER, FACEBOOK, AND ALL ASSOCIATED SOCIAL MEDIA. FORECASTED WINDS ARE FROM 230°V290° AT 12-18 WITH GUSTS TO 23-27KT ISOLD 30KT. THE POTENTIAL FOR VISIBILITY REDUCED TO LESS THAN 5SM BUT GREATER THAN 3SM EXISTS DURING PERIODS OF BLOWING SHIT. TAKE PRECAUTIONS THAT WILL PERMIT ESTABLISHMENT OF AN APPROPRIATE STATE OF READINESS. SALSA NIGHT AND THE DAVE ATELL / CLEVELAND BROWNS CHEERLEADERS (THE BROWNEYES) USO SHOW ARE MOVED TO HANGARS 4 AND 6 DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER. A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM OF JOURNALISTS REPORTING BOWE BERGDAHL AS AN AMERICAN HERO IS EXPECTED TO CRASH INTO A POWERFUL STORM OF SOLDIERS WHO SERVED WITH HIM AND CALL HIM A DESERTER AND TALIBAN COLLABORATOR. FECAL MATTER IS EXPECTED TO ECLIPSE ALL OTHER NATIONAL SECURITY ISSUES, THE VETERANS ADMINISTRATION DEBACLE, THE ONGOING WAR ON TERROR, F-35 ACQUISITION, OUTED CIA CHIEFS, IRS SCANDALS, ABANDONED DIPLOMATIC MISSIONS, PENDING ECONOMIC COLLAPSE, AND ANY MENTION OF FALLEN SOLDIERS OR DEAD VETERANS. TAKE COVER. THIS IS A WARNING. TAKE COVER NOW. Thomas Lucken says: June 11, 2014 at 11:13 AM BREAKING NEWS: “Obama gonna become GM of Cubs after Presidency”……. Dave Herrington says: June 4, 2014 at 11:29 AM This just isn’t a good week for Airborne Hooahing. Michael Land says: June 3, 2014 at 8:59 PM The Army is making him their new poster child for completing SSD1, while in “captivity.” John Plumhoff says: June 3, 2014 at 4:14 PM Had a E-6 who always liked to say “… that’s bad and the Colonel is gonna breakout into a thousand tiny assholes and shit all over everybody,,,,” Pete Salerno says: June 3, 2014 at 9:44 AM “A shit leopard can’t change it’s spots, Randy.” And I heard that his pending promotion has been flagged and that a 15-6 has been opened. There’s no dodging that double barreled, hair triggered shit machine gun. Michael Cahl Moser says: June 2, 2014 at 10:29 PM Hell be the first ssgt that has forgotten english. Anonymous says: June 2, 2014 at 10:29 PM Just glad we’re all prepared for his return, having watched all 4 seasons of ‘Homeland’. He’ll beg to go back to the hajis!!! Edward Guerrero says: June 2, 2014 at 10:29 PM Maybe he thought they were gonna have a chit chat and he’d be on his merry way, “Where the fuck do you think you’re going buddy” said the Taliban, “Oh fuck, you guys are like so awesome and I hate the evil Army” said Bowe, “Great you’ll like it here, but you still can’t leave”, said Taliban, Bowe responds, “Me? Leave? You guys wanna learn some infantry shit?” Taliban answer “Fuck yeah dude, but for now tell us how awesome we are again” “but just so you know noobie, you don’t get your own goat….yet” Dan Widge says: June 2, 2014 at 3:59 PM and because he worked with foreign troops for so long, he qualifies for Army Special Forces. John Tringali says: June 2, 2014 at 3:59 PM I’d like to see the reply to someone asking him “So, when you decided to walk away from your post and into the Afghan countryside, how long did it take you to regret that decision?” Either that, or we can make a case that all these friggin’ CBTs literally make people run from their computers! Andy Greenlee says: June 2, 2014 at 3:14 PM Awesome Trevor Seymour says: June 2, 2014 at 1:59 PM Time to get a shit bat Patrick B Gawne says: June 2, 2014 at 1:13 PM There’s no umbrella large enough to save us from this one. We are all going to get shitified. Erich Plumsteel de Villiers says: June 2, 2014 at 10:44 AM BREAKING NEWS !!! ” Bergdahl to be traded to Jacksonville Jaguars, begs for a return to Taliban captivity.” Rick Cook says: June 2, 2014 at 10:28 AM I saw a story that mentioned that slimebucket getting promoted to SSGT, and I was disappointed when it didn’t come from here. Stephen Joseph De Kock says: June 2, 2014 at 10:28 AM Speaking from my personal experience as an Air Force weather forecaster (and not for AFWA, in general), I find this article somewhat difficult to believe. I think it more likely that this warning would be issued by a first-term airman or a cross-trained NCO at an Operational Weather Squadron, most likely the 15OWS at Shaw, rather than a CWO at METOC. This especially makes sense when you consider that Air Force weather provides support to the Army. Just my two cents. Michael Alsobrook says: June 2, 2014 at 10:28 AM https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/punish-bowe-bergdahl-being-awol-desertion-during-operation-enduring-freedom/BVPwpnrN Martin Knutsen says: June 2, 2014 at 9:44 AM Its so true. Erich Plumsteel de Villiers says: June 2, 2014 at 9:29 AM I didn’t know the Taliban were running a PLDC.