As President Obama prepares to send “military advisors” to help Iraq fight Sunni militants, he continues to insist there is “no military solution.” However, he also affirms the US is prepared for “targeted and precise military action.” How can our political leaders say two seemingly opposed statements in the same breath? How can we take precise military action without a military presence? Didn’t we used to have “allies” in the Middle East? Why is American foreign policy so schizophrenic?
The answer is easy. The entire Iraq war never actually happened.
Research into the inconsistent policies and paradoxical reporting during the past twelve years point to an ongoing conspiracy surrounding this so called “conflict.” Consider the totality of evidence surrounding the Global War On Terror and you’ll find the highest probability our hypothesis is preferable to actual science and fashionable logic.
Here are the top 10 reasons supporting the conclusion the Iraq War was staged and an absolute hoax:
1. Studies have shown the majority of Americans can’t even identify Iraq on a map. This supports the conclusion this supposed dictatorship never existed in the first place. Much like Narnia and Wonderland, this fictional dictatorship can only be found after aimless tumbling through rabbit holes and magical wardrobes. If you believe in fairies, you’ll find Baghdad just north of “Here be dragons.”
2. Historical research suggests there was decades of planning and foreknowledge of the event known as the “War In Iraq.” Documents dating back to the 1960’s detail military training operations against insurgent enemies armed with Russian style weapons including AKs and RPGs. The United States has had a long tradition of having a contingent imaginary war on hand in case one was needed.
3. Iraqi tactical planning was unorthodox and didn’t follow any known military doctrine. Many of our researchers put the full weight of their Masters Degrees in Fine Arts to unravel this enigmatic strategy and could not come to any logical conclusion.
4. In March and April of 2003 Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the supposed Iraq Information Minister, daily refuted reports that American forces had successfully breached Iraqi defenses. Not once did his office or staff provide any evidence of an American presence in Bagdad. This supports the assumption there never was an actual invasion.
5. Every photo of caskets supposedly containing the remains of fallen American soldiers only ever show the lids firmly closed and draped in a flag. For all we know the military propaganda machine produced pictures of empty caskets in an effort to generate support for the troops.
6. In 2004 Michael Moore debuted his “documentary” film Fahrenheit 9/11 at the Cannes Film Festival. In it Moore supposedly takes a critical look at the War on Terror and the invasion of Iraq. Our research suggests there were ulterior motives for producing this film. Who stands to gain by creating a documentary about a fictional conflict? Follow the money.
7. Detailed examination of photographs and film of the early invasion show many American soldiers dressed in a woodland camouflage pattern uniform. Who invades a desert nation in woodland camouflage? We call bullshit.
8. The President of the United States recently authorized the deployment of 300 military advisers to help the embattled Iraqi government against ISIS insurgents. If American armed forces had actually occupied Iraq for the past 11 years don’t you think we would have been training government forces the entire time?
9. America supposedly invaded Iraq under the pretense there were numerous caches of chemical munitions and continued to maintain facilities in support of their chemical weapons program. Later this was shown to be a false assertion. Recently it was reported ISIS fighters captured Iraqi chem weapons manufacturing plants. Which is it?
10. We are being led to believe ISIS militants in Iraq and Syria are fighting for an unrecognized state devoted to the worship of a mythical Egyptian super hero goddess of some kind. Supposedly, their harsh interpretation of nature and fertility magic is expressed in brutal violence and car jacking of HMMWVs. This is just one of many examples of fabrications designed to hoodwink the American public into believing there was a conflict in an imaginary land.