Follow Duffel Blog: WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Obama announced today that a deal had been struck with North Korea to trade the South Korean capital of Seoul to secure the safe return of the USS Pueblo, a U.S. Navy spy ship held captive since 1968. Standing next to the ship’s christener, Mrs. Dorothy Duvall of Palm Beach, Florida, the president told reporters at the Rose Garden ceremony he decided to act when he learned of the ship’s “rapidly deteriorating condition.” “Could we someday regret handing over the capital city of an important ally to its mortal enemy? Absolutely. Might this encourage more mischief by North Korea? Maybe. Was it worth it? You betcha,” the president said. “Let me be clear. It has been an ironclad tradition of the Navy, going back to when the USS Chesapeake struck to HMS Leopard in spite of Commodore Barry’s order not to ‘give up the ship,’ that we make a promise to never leave a ship behind.” The USS Indianapolis could not be reached for comment. National Security Advisor Susan Rice promised a speedy reunion between the families and crew members, who she noted had “served with honor and distinction” during their many years in captivity. When reporters told Rice that the crew had returned to the U.S. decades ago, Rice covered her ears and said, “I’m not listening! La la la la LA LA LA!” before loudly beginning to sing “Yankee Doodle.” The Naval Shipyard in San Francisco is preparing to receive the Pueblo after more than 46 years in captivity. The ship is expected to undergo “reintegration” for several months, where its former sailors will allege it was a communist sympathizer as it gets a fresh coat of paint before decommissioning. Questions to the Joint Chiefs went unanswered as they were busy gnawing on their chew toys. Steven Douglas says: June 13, 2014 at 3:28 AM I thought this would be the one article that nobody thought was real. Oh how wrong I was. Aaron Keitt says: June 12, 2014 at 9:13 PM This is a joke no president would do something so dumb. I really trading a capital a country that we don’t have good standing with for a ship….. Really Robert Dawson says: June 12, 2014 at 12:13 AM I’m not convinced this is actually a satire… Bryan Bresler says: June 10, 2014 at 10:14 AM The satire is hilarious but on a serious note, we have a president with no real world experience, He has never worked in business or industry. Numbers mean nothing to him. He has never been accountable for anything. Assuming the prisoner trade was not malicious on his part, it is no surprise that he would make a bad trade. Dyana Haynes says: June 8, 2014 at 5:28 PM omg…he really HAS become a laughing stock Dyana Haynes says: June 8, 2014 at 5:28 PM I would like to see Rice with her hands over her mouth rather than her ears, but hey, that’s just me. Michael Werner says: June 8, 2014 at 3:43 PM What about the wardroom? Will it still be the Dennis Rodman Peoples Cafe? Jillian Brown says: June 8, 2014 at 11:29 AM This is so false information and yall are idiots for believing such stupidity Dave Coulter says: June 8, 2014 at 10:13 AM It was a fair trade. Period. Full stop! Brett Antonacci says: June 8, 2014 at 12:28 AM Heels have no sole. Or is it that Seoul was had by a heel? The author failed to mention that PT 109 was forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement and that John McCain’s father has grown a long, rather unkempt beard and that he has become fluent in Pashto…. Cole Schulz says: June 7, 2014 at 6:58 PM I fucking love you guys. Ken Kadar says: June 7, 2014 at 5:58 PM Be careful more idiots out there then know that believe this really happened. Well Obama supporters anyway. Lmao K.r. Lombardia says: June 7, 2014 at 5:58 PM This is hilarious Matthew Hills says: June 7, 2014 at 5:13 PM USS Indianapolis could not be reach!!!! Hahaha Thomas Gardner says: June 7, 2014 at 5:13 PM Does anyone see the satirical comparison to the sgt bergdahl story? Jon Shields says: June 7, 2014 at 3:58 PM Why not the release of American prisoners instead? Obama is such an idiot frees a turncoat in Afghanistan now is worried about a ship? Wtf! Patience Barker says: June 7, 2014 at 1:43 PM Is this a joke? Vince Vento says: June 7, 2014 at 1:13 PM Couldn’t we just trade Obama for something instead? Anything? Oh, that’s OK- just take him… Scotty Sho says: June 7, 2014 at 10:58 AM News flash! Obama trades Alaska to Russia for Snowden! Film at 11:00! Michael Steele says: June 7, 2014 at 9:28 AM You know its bad when life and (DB/The Onion) get harder to distinguish from real life every day. Chun Jiang says: June 7, 2014 at 9:13 AM Why just Seoul and not the whole South Korea? The communist North will not be happy that they got the shorter end of the bargain Guy Cole says: June 7, 2014 at 8:58 AM On behalf of the Naval Security Group and CT’s past and present we say “BZ” and thank you! Now we can begin the healing process and move on w/our lives. Troy Shaw says: June 7, 2014 at 8:43 AM Story if fake!!! Phil Fugate says: June 7, 2014 at 8:28 AM USS Liberty had no comment Dan Widge says: June 7, 2014 at 8:13 AM What a great idea! Then we can turn it over for scrap metal. Carol-Lynne Luelo says: June 7, 2014 at 7:43 AM knowing on their chew toys Daniel Donovan says: June 7, 2014 at 7:13 AM This will just get the North Koreans more reason to kidnap more Navy ships for ransom! Jeff Bean says: June 7, 2014 at 7:13 AM Laughing too hard in public… Tears streaming…. Damn you DB! Lol! Keep up the good work! Crystal Crawn says: June 7, 2014 at 6:58 AM Worst trade ever it just gives them a better foot hold Travis Daisy Morrill says: June 7, 2014 at 6:58 AM I give it two hours before DPRK reports this as fact and cites this article. Clay Fisher says: June 7, 2014 at 6:13 AM Until everyone comes home :’) any trade is worth it. Pedro Vera says: June 7, 2014 at 6:13 AM Extra points for the Indianapolis reference. Chuck Lockwood says: June 7, 2014 at 5:43 AM If you can’t get an interview with the Indianapolis, why didn’t you try to get a comment from the Arizona? Thomas Lucken says: June 7, 2014 at 5:28 AM Love it! Obama wouldn’t last long in the MLB, making the horrid trades he does. Nathan Fellows says: June 7, 2014 at 4:44 AM There was no avoiding this. Frankly I’m surprised it took this long.