Photo Credit: US ArmyArmy Chooses New PT Uniform With Help Of No Soldier Feedback Lee Ho Fuk August 18, 2014 Army 20 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: FORT BELVOIR, Va. — A new physical training uniform is expected to be part of the U.S. Army wardrobe beginning in the 2016 fiscal year and is based on the rejected feedback of over 76,000 soldiers who took an online survey in February of 2012, Duffel Blog has learned. “We started the new Army Physical Fitness Uniform Program to see what soldiers wanted us to buy with all the money we saved cutting their pay this year,” said Col. Robert Mortlock, program manager of Soldier Protection and Individual Equipment in Fort Belvoir. “Then we summarily dismissed all their input.” Riding the wave of summer blockbuster movies based on comic book superheroes, soldiers wanted to cut a more heroic profile in public when bumming free meals at Applebees or Waffle House. Many submitted ideas for what they would like to wear, which were promptly rejected. The first of the failed uniform concepts was based on Marvel’s original “X-Men” comic book superheroes. Many proponents of this PT uniform considered the eye protection portion of Cyclops’ uniform “sweet,” but Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond Chandler immediately shot it down upon seeing the concept drawings. “What kind of undisciplined nonsense is this,” he asked the uniform board. “One has her hair all over the place, this other one isn’t wearing shoes, some have eye pro and some don’t. Heck no.” The final nail in the coffin for the X-Men design was when Chandler realized the Cyclops eye pro wasn’t on the [Authorized Protective Eyewear] list. “If we wanted soldiers to look good in uniform we’d have stricter physical training standards in the first place,” he said. One uniform prototype was derived from the costume worn by real life crime fighter, Phoenix Jones, leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement out of Seattle, Washington. “This jackass’s outfit was immediately rejected,” said Col. Mortlock. “He doesn’t even know what city he lives in. I mean really, how about Seattle Jones? Tacoma Jones? Hell, our troops have a hard enough time with land nav as it is.” Other submissions were based on the popular Venture Bros cartoon series, while many others asked for a design based on Wasp, a member of the Avengers comic books heroes. “We really liked the color scheme of the Wasp uniform,” said Col Mortlock. “Not only was it Army colors, but black is so slimming.” While nearly being approved, Sgt. Maj. Chandler pointed out one glaring issue he had with the design, ending any chance the Wasp uniform concept had. “How many times do I have to say no wearing damn headphones in PT gear? If they have headphones on they won’t be able to hear CSMs yelling at them to stay off the grass.” Col. Mortlock summed up the results of online survey with this remark: “Look, our Soldiers are only going to wear the most ridiculous nonsense if it’s built by companies feasting off the contracts doled out by criminal acquisition officers. Also, we had to approve a design that still required everyone to wear reflective belts 24 hours a day. The damn lobby of the reflective belt-industrial complex is stifling.” Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/1EBOT Angry Warrant says: August 24, 2014 at 2:14 PM Well, I’ll show them! I’m just not going to.. show… up… at…. Nevermind. I probably won’t even buy this set. Truth be told, I’m still wearing my greys… Quin Ones Esmer Alda says: August 23, 2014 at 8:29 PM Lol. I’m so glad I don’t have to use my clothing allowance on this. Tyler Dovel says: August 22, 2014 at 3:43 AM Why the hell on EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE does some tool have to comment, “I though this wuz satire hurr hurr hurr!” David J Birchfield says: August 21, 2014 at 12:44 PM They should have mentioned that upon rollout of the new design in 2016, the Army will imedeiately make changes and redesigns after 90 percent of all soldiers pass out from wearing all black. Bill Czajkowski says: August 19, 2014 at 9:59 PM Yellow – I thought we learned the error of that way three uniforms ago. Leron Carlton says: August 19, 2014 at 3:13 PM I really feel like they should have made the watch cap out of PT Belt Reflectors for ultimate safety. Kenneth McGriff says: August 19, 2014 at 8:59 AM The damn lobby of the reflective belt-industrial complex is stifling.” Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/08/army-pt-uniform/#ixzz3Aqowzq4q Erich Maria Plumsteel-de Villiers says: August 19, 2014 at 3:13 AM Combine the trendy superhero look with the current obsession with safety belts – Reflective Capes! Anonymous says: August 18, 2014 at 8:28 PM Do they come in marshmallow too? Dale Hlavacek says: August 18, 2014 at 8:28 PM Solid black is a great idea, down range the fob will look like its full of ninjas. Also, at night it’ll look like floating pt belts. Will have mod with head lamps, led outfitted shoes, and 2 flashlights. Allen Everett Richards says: August 18, 2014 at 6:28 PM I heard they were cutting back on PT in favor of Hatha Yoga and anger management courses so this all makes perfect sense David Cramer says: August 18, 2014 at 6:28 PM I’ve seen pictures of the new black and gold pt uniform. It will last until the first few dozen guys get run over while running in the dark. Which won’t take long. Jame Son says: August 18, 2014 at 2:14 PM The PT Belt will live FOREVER!!! Chuck Sherman says: August 18, 2014 at 2:14 PM Is this legit, or satire? It’s getting too hard to tell. Dan Widge says: August 18, 2014 at 10:58 AM Did the US Army hire some fashion consultant from Paris or something? They just keep spending more money on uniforms….what about upgrading the M16 to this century? John Miller says: August 18, 2014 at 8:58 AM Dammit Duffel Blog, I thought you were supposed to be a satire site! Stop reporting the truth! Tim Morrison says: August 18, 2014 at 8:58 AM ““If we wanted soldiers to look good in uniform we’d have stricter physical training standards in the first place,” he said.” Had me rolling. Anthony A. Ramirez says: August 18, 2014 at 8:58 AM I don’t know a single person who said, “lets get rid of the reflective material, I want to be stealthy in combat.” Most people said, “The uniform has reflective material, get rid of the PT belt.” But the Army decided to ditch the reflective material and keep up with the PT belt idea. If you get hit by a car during PT, it was just your time…. Guy Slack says: August 18, 2014 at 6:44 AM Priorities are so off the mark… Erich Maria Plumsteel-de Villiers says: August 18, 2014 at 6:44 AM Combine the trendy superhero look with the current obsession with safety belts – Reflective Capes!