Photo Credit: US NavyGeneral Mattis Takes ALS Ice Bucket Challenge sandy August 25, 2014 Marine Corps 11 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Retired Marine Corps Gen. James Mattis joined a growing number of Americans by taking part in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge on Sunday, sources confirmed. In a video uploaded to YouTube and later posted to Facebook, the former commander of Central Command turned academic is seen sitting in a folding camp chair next to a small swimming pool. As is customary for the event — which is meant to raise money for the ALS Foundation — Mattis begins by mentioning who nominated him to take the challenge before issuing his own. “I guess I should thank Gen. Lloyd Austin, the commander of U.S. Central Command, for issuing this challenge,” Mattis said. “I guess this is his way of getting back at me for leaving him with an AOR that looks more like the inside of a well-used porta-shitter than a regional command, but hell, he’s a big boy, he should be able to handle it.” He continued: “I challenge Admiral Bill McRaven as he leaves SOCOM because he’s going to have to get used to taking cold showers staring at those coeds in Texas.” Mattis then seems to mutter something sounding about “lazy goddamn squids,” but the audio is hard to understand. Mattis also challenged Vice President Joe Biden, reasoning that “he’s a dick and I don’t like him much.” Mattis’ final challenge came to Gen. James Amos, the Commandant of the Marine Corps. “And last I’m calling out ‘Little Jimmy’ Amos. I’m doing that because I hear he sleeps at his desk and this will wake him up … unless it gives him a freakin’ heart attack.” In a related story from last month, Amos had refused to do the challenge but had ordered Mattis to do it, apparently not understanding the rules. To top off the video, Mattis then called for the ice water — roughly 10 gallons of it — which was poured over his head by an unidentified person wearing a Chesty Puller mask and a woman who appeared to be Christie Brinkley. The dousing lasted for almost a minute with the water and ice cubes cascading down over Mattis’ head and body, as the general remained completely still and quiet. Several moments after the soaking ended, Mattis looked around. “Is that it?” he asked. “Jesus Christ, I do that every morning before I brush my teeth and shave.” Sources confirmed that after the video was filmed, Mattis threatened the camera crew and told them to leave his house immediately, or else he would kill them all with nothing more than his knife hands. SEE ALSO: Geraldo Rivera Divulges Plans for Gen Mattis’ Surprise Birthday Party » Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/SahqC Grant Pearson says: August 26, 2014 at 6:00 PM I wish this wasn’t a Duffelblog SOOOO much right now… Joseph Huffman says: August 26, 2014 at 7:14 AM https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10204643727202275&id=1508154178 Robert Moravec says: August 25, 2014 at 10:14 PM I would vote for that man in a friggin’ heartbeat Quin Ones Esmer Alda says: August 25, 2014 at 10:14 PM I’d donate to different charity personally. There are so many different ones to choose! Empressa Komlo says: August 25, 2014 at 12:44 PM This is how it would happen though. Angry Warrant says: August 25, 2014 at 12:44 PM I’m glad I followed the “Amos had refused” link. If you haven’t , I recommend it. Oh right, Angry Warrant says GRRRR! Edward T. Egan says: August 25, 2014 at 12:14 PM What’s with this straight reporting? I thought the Duffel Blog was supposed to be satire. Robert Duncan says: August 25, 2014 at 12:14 PM What this article fails to mention, is that the bucket was filled with hot water, but General Mattis just gave it a cold, hard, stare. Anonymous says: August 25, 2014 at 7:13 AM Gen. Amos could not be reached for comment, as he was hiding under his desk after hearing that ALS was looking for him. Reports of Lou Gehrig carrying a baseball bat at port arms and roaming the Commandant’s office and muttering something about “that pussy will be the luckiest man on the face of the earth unless I find him” could not be confirmed. Andy Niemyer says: August 25, 2014 at 7:13 AM That moment when you find yourself wishing this had really, really, REALLY been true. Josh Noble says: August 25, 2014 at 5:14 AM ALS was so terrified that it immediately abandoned the bodies of those it inflicted, and left its former victims with improved eyesight and great hair.