The following is a point/counterpoint debate between two Army privates trying to decipher what the hell their battalion sergeant major is actually saying to them during a battalion liberty brief.

Private First Class Aaron Singh: The SgtMaj always sounds like some kind of silverback gorilla flinging poo at us. Did you hear what he just said? I sure as hell don't understand a word. "Disturbeding trendency?" Does he even speaky Engrish?

Private First Class Travis Allen-Buckley: "Disturbeding" eh? Both disturbed and disturbing? That's definitely a cause for concern. Certainly a "monumentous occasion." I honestly think that sergeant major just takes words that he hears and smashes them together to make new ones without thought of grammar or logic.

Move over Germany, here comes the new master of nonsensical compounds. Daniel Webster has nothing on a wordsmith of such caliber. Sure, it makes for some entertaining moments during Battalion Balls, but this is getting ridiculous. This is really the best that the military has to offer? If that's the case I'd might as well start learning Russian.