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Controversial ISIS ‘Kill List’ Leaves Off Female Army Captain

JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash. — The Islamic State is facing international backlash today after releasing a so-called “Kill List,” inviting lone-wolf agents to attempt to target the service members and their families on behalf of the terrorist organization. International condemnation has been strong since it was discovered that the list left off Capt. Marissa Steel, a finance officer in the US Army I Corps.

“Who the hell do these chauvinistic assholes think they are? So I’m good enough to be some illiterate jihadi’s sex slave, but not a legitimate military assassination target? Bulls—,” Steel said.

Among the more than 100 names and addresses of U.S. service members around the country, not one on the list was female.

Immediately after reviewing the list and discovering that her name was omitted, Steel began an online social media campaign, using the hashtag #WeAreWorthKillingToo. It has since trended, having been retweeted over 70,000 times, and a short commercial starring Sarah McLachlan will be airing on primetime this weekend.

Feminist groups across the nation, both military and civilian, have issued additional statements condemning ISIS for its “backward, sexist propaganda” and have called on the terrorist group fighting across large swathes of the Middle East to include prominent women in all future kill lists.

Male members of her unit have also expressed support for the campaign.

“Trust me, I’d love it if ISIS included Capt. Steel in their next kill list,” said Sgt. 1st Class Justin Barksdale. “If anyone deserves to be on that list it’s her.”

“For equality I mean,” he quickly added.

Even Michelle Obama has joined the fight against ISIS sexism, tweeting the hastag and adding additional social media pressure to the already beleaguered extremists. Pundits have likened her online tactics to the successful #BringBackOurGirls campaign, which forced the African terrorist organization Boko Haram to immediately return 240 kidnapped Christian girls unharmed.

At press time, ISIS media representative Mohammed Akbar Obeidi had released a statement apologizing to the international community for the group’s lack of female inclusion, and said it has already activated an assassination cell in Seattle, Washington specifically tasked with murdering Steel.

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