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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Friday, 13 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

13 November 2026

1708 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

Army to lower divorce rates by training soldiers not to marry strippers

Filed · 1538

THE PENTAGON — Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark A. Milley today announced the results of an exhaustive study conducted by the RAND Corporation aimed at understanding and lowering the divorce rates of soldiers.

"Going in, our assumption was that long and frequent deployments were the root cause of the higher than average divorce rates of our soldiers," Milley said. "It turns out, instead, there's a very high correlation between the frequency of a spouse removing their clothes in exchange for money and the divorce rate."

Milley continued, "We also saw a spike in divorces when the spouse regularly uses methamphetamine and stays away from home for days at a time. We are still looking into this other phenomena."

Dr. Philip Lynch, RAND Director of Research, noted, "The findings surprisingly didn't support our initial assumptions."

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