THE PENTAGON — The Navy today announced a new contract with the Milton Bradley Company to develop a cost-efficient technology for use on the maritime battlefield. Milton Bradley will be mass-producing a new device for the Navy which will be known as the Basic Analog Terminal for Targeting and Locating Enemy Ships and Honing Incursions with Precision, or "BATTLESHIP."

"Due to a new era of fiscal restraints, gone are the days of multibillion dollar contracts with the likes of Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, and General Dynamics," said new Chief of Naval Operations Adm. John Richardson. "Milton Bradley has agreed to provide each BATTLESHIP terminal to the Navy for the low cost of $14.99 plus shipping and handling."

Senior leaders were quick to praise BATTLESHIP for it's portability, energy efficiency, and ease of use. "It's also EMP-hardened," according to one officer.