WASHINGTON – Just days after President Obama directly apologized to Japan for dropping the atomic bombs in World War II, White House sources now say the President is mulling an apology to Japan for the attack on Pearl Harbor.

According to the White House, the President made a tentative offer to Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe shortly after the Hiroshima speech. As the two were driven away, Obama apparently turned to Abe and said, "You know, this never would have happened if you hadn't attacked Pearl Harbor, but I guess FDR knew about that in advance, so that certainly implies consent by us."

When Abe said that was an unproven conspiracy theory, Obama quickly cited several authoritative documentaries on the History Channel.

"And you wouldn't have attacked Pearl Harbor if we hadn't put an oil embargo on you," Obama continued. "So I guess Pearl Harbor was also our fault. And the whole oil embargo was because of your occupation of French Indochina, but you were only trying to liberate your fellow Asians from the white supremacist Europeans and implement a Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere."