American public learns we’re still fighting in Afghanistan after Pentagon drops huge bomb there

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NEW YORK — The American public learned today the U.S. military was still fighting in Afghanistan after the Pentagon announced it had dropped a huge bomb there, sources confirmed.

Just hours after the U.S. Air Force dropped a massive ordnance air blast bomb, nicknamed “the mother of all bombs,” on an ISIS cave complex in Nangahar Province, a wide swath of Americans were seen with confusion on their faces over the revelation there’s still a war going on there.

“You mean to tell me that we’re still at war in Afghanistan? The country we invaded almost 16 years ago after 9/11?” asked Benjamin Martin, a financial advisor who, like most Americans, supports the troops 100% in their fight against the terrorists or whatever. “And they’re going after ISIS? I thought ISIS was in Syria, or Iraq? Where’s Syria and Iraq again?”

According to defense officials, the bombing was yet another blunder for the Pentagon, since news of it dashed hopes that most people outside of the military wouldn’t ask too many questions or even think of the longest war in American history.

The Afghan War has been marked by a number of phases, to include a successful invasion, the routing of the Taliban, the reemergence of the Taliban, the re-routing of the Taliban, a period of progress, another period of progress, one period of fuck it, Obama doesn’t even care about this place, more progress, another reemergence of the Taliban, an alliance between the Taliban and Russia, an alliance between the Taliban and ISIS, and more progress.

Gen. John Nicholson, the top commander in Afghanistan, told reporters recently that he only needs a few thousand more troops to keep making progress toward the objective of making progress in Afghanistan.

Meanwhile, some Americans were even more confused by the bombing, which was part of what is now called Operation Freedom’s Sentinel, a non-combat combat mission that has been ongoing since late 2014.

“We’re fighting in Iraq and Syria and now we’re going to war in Afghanistan? My God the terrorists seem to be everywhere,” said Joan Myers, an attorney who follows along with developments in the war closely on her favorite paper American Patriot Freedom Eagle News blog.