Neighbors confirm Mattis keeps them awake at night

neighbor

WASHINGTON — The next-door neighbors of Defense Secretary Jim Mattis have confirmed that he has kept them awake almost every single night since he moved in.

Mattis has been leaving his backyard spotlight on all night, mowing his lawn at odd hours, and most recently was found to be blasting Motörhead after 2 a.m., according to neighborhood sources. Neighbors say that soon after Mattis moved in, they have often been kept awake by the retired general’s nocturnal activities.

In a recent interview, the 66-year-old seemed proud of not allowing anyone around him to sleep. “I keep people awake at night,” Mattis said, adding that he recently purchased a new drum kit that he’s been practicing on in his garage every day of this past week after midnight.

Residents of the affluent northwest Washington neighborhood include a number of congressmen, a Supreme Court Justice, former President Obama, and Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner. Many told reporters that they appreciate Mattis’ service but wish he wouldn’t perform ‘sideshows’ with his souped-up Dodge Challenger Hellcat on their street in the middle of the night.

“I’m just completely exhausted and want to get a little shuteye, but when I think of going over there and complaining, I remember that he met me about a month ago so he probably has a plan to kill me,” said one neighbor, who spoke on condition of anonymity out of fear that Mattis might throw more rocks at his bedroom window than he does already.

Neighbors say there was a brief respite when Mattis traveled overseas to meet with NATO officials, and many are hopeful the secretary will keep a busy travel schedule that keeps him away from home.

Still, Mattis often throws massive keg parties upon his return from overseas, much to the frustration of his neighbors who complain about the noise, rowdiness, and never-ending nature of a party where Mattis typically invites more than 2 million people that work in the Defense Department.

Kate C, Lieutenant Dan, and Dark Laughter contributed reporting. 


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