Navy stakes claim to contested Gays of Hormuz
Service says designation reflects ‘longstanding traditions’ in the fleet
3 min read
Navy
The service that floats around the world looking for Wi-Fi.
Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours
Fifth Fleet ensuring 'safety of our sailors first and foremost,' commander says while holding something in pocket
2 min read
Pacific not pivoted to yet again
'I'm starting to think America doesn't care about Great Power Competition at all,' says Chinese defense minister
1 min read
Navy admits it’s been making up enlisted ranks this whole time
Service says prank began as jab at George Washington and ‘just got out of hand’
5 min read
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Chief’s ‘sea stories’ include at least 4 felonies
Junior sailors unsure whether to laugh, report to NCIS, or contact The Hague
4 min read
Hegseth attends Army-Navy game in full pads
Defense Secretary insists he's “ready if they need me."
4 min read
members
Navy football unveils new uniforms honoring lisa Frank dolphins
Midshipmen say the rainbow dolphins “perfectly capture the soul of Navy football.”
4 min read
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Duffel Blog presents: 10 other things Admiral bradley is solely responsible for
Admiral also responsible for 90% of what’s wrong with America
6 min read
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Third-class petty officer promoted to first-class douchebag
Retired as captain, remembered as cautionary tale.
3 min read
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Trump blows cover on Venezuela op, crushes SEALs’ dreams of book deals
“We trained our whole lives for this chapter,” sources say.
4 min read
members
Anonymous donor gives Pentagon 130 million cans of Skoal wintergreen to pay troops
Donation will “tide everyone over” until someone finds seven billion more cans
3 min read
members
Top 10 things you can’t buy because you're not getting paid
Congress assures troops that poverty builds character.
4 min read
members
Hegseth sets record for largest military D&D campaign ever
Hundreds of generals trapped at Quantico after DTS crash forced to role-play their way out.
4 min read
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Naval Academy adds 'See Spot Run' to reading list
Officials say advanced students may graduate to Green Eggs and Ham
3 min read
General officer summit extended for K-Pop Demon Hunter singalong
Generals relieved it wasn’t a firing squad or Eyes Wide Shut reenactment
4 min read
members
Captain barely keeping a lid on all the marxism onboard
USS Wasp leadership fears crew will collectivize chow line
2 min read
members
Pentagon changes rear admiral rank to something less gay
Historic title to be replaced with something the SECDEF can say without giggling
3 min read
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Adm. McRaven hasn’t made his bed in years, sources say
Sources say unmade bed had more loose ends than the Afghanistan withdrawal
4 min read
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Naval Academy summer program teaches kids how to be racist, tie knots
Program blends soft skills, hard prejudice, and light tobacco use.
2 min read
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Hegseth renames USNS Harvey milk to USNS James earl Ray, but a different one
Says move is part of broader strategy to ‘de-gay the gray hulls.’
2 min read
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Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes
After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.
3 min read
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After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed
“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”
1 min read
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US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
3 min read
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Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors
The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.
3 min read
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Dyslexic officer cuts IED training from EOD course
“Oops, I got my wires crossed again."
2 min read
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