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WASHINGTON — The Department of Veterans Affairs announced a plan today to curb non-veteran unemployment by hiring personal friends and family members into vacant positions. The move comes after news
BAGRAM, Afghanistan – A military contractor has nearly returned from his sixth year in Afghanistan, but despite his worn American flag patch hat, near constant operational name drops, and almost-muscular
HOBOKEN, N.J. — Members of the 444th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment (MPAD), 63rd Army Band, and Family Readiness Program deployed to Manhattan in support of Operation Blind Panderer, sources confirmed
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The U.S. Air Force received accolades from ISIS for totally missing a massive Fort Bragg drop zone and "bombing" civilian property in North
If you’ve spent any significant amount of time in the military, you’ve no doubt heard some urban legends and rumors related to the service. These might include sightings
HEAVEN — Sources reported today that supreme Judeo-Christian deity God allegedly forgot to capitalize “Marine,” adding that the blunder was His “most egregious oversight since the creation of the mosquito,
FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. Cyber Command released details today of its plan to discharge millions of dick pics on Chinese networks in America's first authorized offensive cyberattack.
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – A reconnaissance Marine who graduated at the top of his Marine Corps sniper class has found an insurmountable challenge in the most unexpected place – Coast Guard sniper school,
A comprehensive study released today of all motor pools, supply shops, and personnel stations in the Army concludes that every single warrant officer in the service remains totally and infuriatingly
The following is an opinion piece by the disabled veteran whose service dog you are about to pet despite the clearly printed warning against that on his harness. Pay no
In celebration of winning the Texas 2nd District congressional seat, former Navy SEAL Dan Crenshaw stabbed comedian Pete Davidson in the eye today, which is no big deal. Many see
If you didn’t see it yourself, today’s five paragraph mission plan delivered by 2nd Lt. Smith was an absolute doozy. Here are ten of the most outrageous comments,
WASHINGTON – Legislators, members of the press, and hearing attendees were stunned today when a general’s jaw fell apart during testimony in front of the Senate Armed Services Committee after
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — In response to rising border tensions, President Donald Trump has ordered the National Guard and some active duty units to defend the Alamo against the incoming migrant
DONNA, Texas — Many U.S. Army spouses and their extramarital lovers are rejoicing following the deployment of their partners to the Mexican Border in support of border security operations, according
WASHINGTON — A visibly annoyed Air Force called a sailor’s decision to pay for a full-sleeve tattoo financially irresponsible, adding with just a hint of disdain that this sort
Turkey Prime Minister Gobbler has announced his plans for unconditional surrender to Gen. Santa Clausewitz of the Christmas Empire after many decades of frigid winter combat in North America, sources
BOULDER, Colo. — A local veteran was seen shaking his head in disbelief at the number of years that have passed before he reached the crystal clear conclusion that he needs
WASHINGTON — Despite failing the first audit in its over 70 year history, the Pentagon is being promoted to the rank of hexagon in a move that surprised few but angers
WASHINGTON — A light drizzle in Kandahar has prompted the president to cancel the war in Afghanistan, according to a white house press conference. Weather forecasts were optimistic at first, saying
PENTAGON – Secretary of the Air Force Heather Wilson announced today that the Air Force would limit future rotations to Afghanistan to a three-hour tour with free lunch. “These exotic
WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense is granting a $3 billion contract to Green Beans Coffee to complete the construction of 2,000 locations along the border. The move, which was
WASHINGTON — Retired Marine Gen. John F. Kelly was relieved to relieve White House Chief of Staff John Kelly of duty, sources confirmed today. Kelly will depart by the end of
FORT MEADE, Md. – A sailor successfully petitioned for unrestrained growth of his facial hair on the grounds of religious expression, sources aboard Cryptologic Warfare Group Six revealed today. The Navy’
EL PASO, Texas — Federal authorities have awarded over 30 unfinished Coast Guard cutters to a Texas company to build 12 miles of wall along the U.S.-Mexico border in
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