40
Stories filed
2023
Filing since
Filed by this bureauNewest first
30 Sep Army Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit” 2 min 21 Aug Pentagon Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters Officials clarify ‘Send Me’ remains mandatory for people without policy influence 2 min 14 Aug Pentagon Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given Officials warn Iran war has pushed strategic fuck reserve below minimum levels 2 min 25 May Pentagon Hegseth orders new loyalty oath for Catholic troops Pentagon says policy intended to clarify “chain of command issues” involving newly elected pope 2 min 18 Feb Army Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative Program aims to maximize discipline, despair, and time spent not fighting wars 3 min 14 Jan Pentagon Top 10 countries Trump will send you to attack rather than release the Epstein files White House sources say ‘bombing foreigners’ remains preferred transparency substitute 4 min 1 Dec Pentagon Pentagon recalls Hegseth to active duty for violating most of the UCMJ “He promised accountability,” says lawyer holding 3,000-page indictment. 3 min 5 Nov Pentagon Top 10 things SECDEF is spending money on while you’re not getting paid It's nice to know he's having the time of his life. 4 min 29 Sep Pentagon Master strategist Pete Hegseth to gather all US military leaders in same place at same time Defense secretary insists meeting is secure because it’s on Google Calendar as “Private” 2 min
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