FORT BRAGG, NC—In what is both breaking news and a depressingly familiar twist of fate, your upcoming weekend has been cancelled because Army, numerous sources report.
Mass text messages conveying the bad news alerted everyone in your unit that there would be a recall formation Saturday morning at 0600, presumably for no particular reason other than that this is the Army and you are in it.
All passes have been revoked battalion-wide, and the weekend trip you were looking forward to will now be cast upon the same garbage pile as your other blighted plans and dreams.
