WASHINGTON, D.C. – A group of 45 Marines will receive the nation's top military award for their outstanding performance in an extremely hard-fought battle of the bands.
The battle took place sometime between late September and early October at a military cultural festival in South Korea and immediately captured the hearts and imaginations of the American public, at least for a few moments in-between ISIS beheading videos, protests in Ferguson, and the U.S. outbreak of the Ebola virus.
"Years from now, when people look back on 2014, we don't want them to remember any of the bad things that happened," Secretary Mabus said as he made the announcement. "We want them to remember that for one shining moment, Marines were popping sticks and... and America was somehow great again!" He then grew misty-eyed and choked out an, "Oo-rah Marine band! Semper Fi!"
