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Walter Reed praises insider threat training as 98% effective

Good enough for government work.

| 2 min read
Walter Reed praises insider threat training as 98% effective

BETHESDA, Md. — Walter Reed National Military Medical Center officials are praising their insider threat training program as “98% effective” following the indictment of Maj. Jamie Lee Henry for allegedly providing Russia with sensitive military medical information, sources confirmed today.

“We take our responsibility to train physicians to become loyal military officers very seriously,” said Navy Capt. Felix A. Bigby, interim commander of Walter Reed. “People want to focus on a couple bad apples, but we’ve trained literally dozens of military physicians who haven’t gone on to become traitors.”

All trainees must attend insider threat training as part of their DoD-mandated training requirements. And data provided by Walter Reed administrators show that most trainees who attend this training do indeed go on to successfully not engage in espionage or become active shooters on a military installation, officials said.

“We’re batting a solid .980 in this department,” says Bigby. “If this was Major League Baseball, Walter Reed would be the goddamned GOAT.”

Not ready yet? Fair enough.