This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest dispatches
The story feed
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Point/counterpoint: Future wars will be fought with AI robots vs. 'Microsoft word is not responding'
The following is a point/counterpoint discussion about the use of artificial intelligence (AI), machine learning, and robots in future large scale ground combat. The point will be presented by
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Pentagon senior executive fired for inadvertently making a decision
WASHINGTON – Pentagon officials fired a senior bureaucrat after he accidentally made a decision, breaking decades of tradition and spurring fears that the building may become more efficient, sources confirmed today.
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Alabama national guardsman charged after aborting unplanned mission
GHAZNI, Afghanistan — An Alabama National Guard lieutenant is facing legal action after he aborted a botched mission, sources confirmed today. 1st Lt. Casey Wade attempted to penetrate a Taliban stronghold,
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Bolton cites his avoiding war in Vietnam amid criticism that he's pro-war
WASHINGTON, D.C. — National Security Advisor John Bolton on Wednesday cited his avoidance of going to war in Vietnam in response to criticism that he is a warmonger intent on
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Iran attacks US warships in the Gulf of Tonkin
HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam—Iran has staged a failed hit-and-run attack on U.S. warships, the Navy has reported. According to Pentagon officials, vessels secretly controlled by
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Admiral McRaven defends millennials in viral TikTok video
AUSTIN, Texas — Retired Navy Adm. William McRaven offered a defense of millennials in a viral video uploaded to TikTok on Monday, sources confirmed today. In the video, which features music
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Pentagon forms community of disinterest to plan Iran war
WASHINGTON — Recognizing that overthrowing the terror-sponsoring Iranian government requires a whole-of-Trump approach, the defense and White House officials recently convened a secret interagency planning team at the
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John walker Lindh killed in drone strike moments after release
BENEDICT, Mont. — "American Taliban" John Walker Lindh tasted freedom for approximately 47 seconds before a Hellfire missile fired from an unmanned aerial vehicle ensured he would never taste
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Staff officers hope for war with Iran to end Bronze Star drought
THE PENTAGON — Many U.S. military staff officers are hoping for war with Iran, Duffel Blog has learned. These officers cite two reasons, sources familiar with the subject report: First,
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Opinion: Once again, my shithead husband will be deployed for the birth of our child
Samantha Pourier is the wife of Army Maj. Paul Pourier, who is preparing for a deployment to Iraq later this year. Well, it’s that time again. I’m three
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Soldier travels back in time to prevent his own wedding
FORT HOOD, Texas—Sgt. Freddy Heflin, 1st Battalion, 9th Cavalry Regiment (“Head Hunters”), and his bride-to-be, Miss Adrienne Pickens, of the Pickens family from Cut and Shoot, Texas,
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Pearl harbor survivor unhappy with Mitsubishi Memorial Day sale
HONOLULU, Hawaii — Local World War II veteran Johnny Thompson is unhappy with the nature of the this past weekend's sale at his local Mitsubishi dealership in honor of
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Coast Guard seizes 4,000 pounds of uncut Cheetos dust
ALAMEDA, Calif. — The U.S. Coast Guard Cutter Waesche returned home to Alameda on Sunday morning after seizing more than 4,000 pounds of Cheetos dust, with an estimated street
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President Trump orders Navy to scuttle USS John S. McCain
TOKYO—President Donald Trump has ordered that the crew of the USS John S. McCain (DDG-56) to scuttle the ship. The order, relayed through acting Acting Defense Secretary Patrick
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We didn’t want to invite John walker Lindh to our Memorial Day party, but his potato salad is so damn delicious
WASHINGTON—Every year, millions of Americans gather on the last Monday in May to drink, barbecue, socialize, and remember the fallen. But we all have that one friend who we
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Nation honors fallen soldiers by creating more of them
WASHINGTON—Remembering the fallen on Memorial Day is a time-honored tradition of ceremonies, barbecues, and a day off for most American workers and schoolchildren. But many are feeling that
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Hero Pfc. spends entire enlistment at dental
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A heroic private first class from the Second Marine Division was awarded the Silver Star this week after spending his entire enlistment at dental, sources say.
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Rep. Duncan hunter shocked Americans making such big deal about routine war crimes
EL CAJON, Calif.—Speaking to reporters at his home office in California’s 50th District, Duncan Hunter seemed perplexed as to why Americans have gotten so upset about relatively minor
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Quiz: ‘80s metal lyrics or things the lieutenant said at morning PT
Everyone knows that the lieutenant gets really motivated and delirious every time he "leads" morning PT. But can you tell the difference between 1980s heavy metal lyrics and
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Navy says its not the size of the fleet, but how you use it
NORFOLK, Va.—The Navy says the size of its fleet is just fine, thank you, and to stop counting its ships and start thinking about the service’s skill in
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Americans commemorate D-Day by calling people they disagree with Nazis
OTTUMWA, Iowa— Yesterday, America observed the 75th anniversary of D-Day. Some spent the day with local World War II veterans. Others visited military cemeteries to honor those who made
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Chaplain’s wife drives to different state in disguise to buy dildo
OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla.—The wife of Army Chaplain Mike Phillips, Amy, has just been spotted entering a dildo store 350 miles from her home, sources confirm. According to anecdotal reports,
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OPINION: We shouldn’t build any new nuclear weapons until we use the ones we already have
President Trump has called for upgrades to our existing nuclear warheads as well as production of new nuclear weapons. This is a mistake. America should not produce any new nuclear
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Report: Sticky note saying “BROKEN” on equipment will be there forever
BOSTON—A sticky note saying “BROKEN” likely remain on an unplugged piece of equipment until the end of time, the Coast Guard Cutter Escanaba (WMEC-907) confirmed Wednesday. Reports indicate
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Army not looking forward to prostate exam after 244th birthday
WASHINGTON—The Army will celebrate its birthday today with the rite of passage every service endures once it reaches a certain age, the dreaded prostate exam, sources say. Over the
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