FORT MEADE, Md.—The Army's most elite cyber operations unit has requested a blanket exemption from conducting mandatory online training, according to several sources familiar with the matter.
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — In a stunning rebuke of the Marine Corps' "every Marine a rifleman" credo, trailblazing Pvt. First Class John Standle has rejected the label
ASGARD—Valhalla has been on lockdown for the past millennium, as warrior souls have been searching for the missing hammer of Thor, according to Valkyries close to the situation. "
THE PACIFIC OCEAN—After years of warnings from Congress, the island of Guam has finally capsized, according to several Department of Defense officials familiar with the matter. Satellite imagery confirmed
50 years ago today, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and I took part in one of the greatest adventures in the history of mankind. Together we landed on the moon, planted
MIST COUNTY, Minn.—After a long career, it is finally time for National Guard Brigadier General James "Lucky" Lawrence to put away his lightly used combat boots. On
SHARANA, Afghanistan—Mohammad Omar confirmed in a press conference on Wednesday that the Taliban will not visit the White House if it wins the War on Terror. Omar cited numerous
THE PENTAGON – Reporters and spectators crowded the River Parade Field as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford, stood beside the president and CEO of Ford Motor
SYRIA — One of ISIS's top performers was passed up for a promotion yesterday for failing to complete computer-based training on suicide awareness. The decision was internally leaked and
THE PENTAGON—Greg Jenson, a government contractor working on the Army staff, has yet to tell his coworkers, supervisors, or the ladies running the snack bar in his corridor that
1. The Phalanx Why do millennials hate the ideal military formation, one that managed to create an offensive infantry juggernaut while protecting against frontal assault and cavalry? We don’t
JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash.—U.S. Special Forces Command has announced Sgt. First Class Clifford Randall has been stripped of his Special Forces tab and Bronze Star as a result
FORT BENNING, Ga.—Researchers studying the superhuman physical stamina and questionable dental health of a group of 100 sergeants major has concluded that their success can be attributed, in part,
WASHINGTON—Greenpeace released a statement today lauding the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy for its “courageous and necessary” decision to seize two British-operated oil tankers in the Strait of Hormuz.
TRANQUILITY BASE—Fifty years after the first moon landing, astronaut and former Air Force pilot Buzz Aldrin has demanded that he be allowed to retrace his steps and look for
SOMEWHERE IN CYBERSPACE—Infamous military conspiracy theorist and U.S. Marine Corps veteran John Lazarus has a problem: He can’t believe it’s not butter. Moreover, Lazarus has a
FORT BRAGG, N.C.—Maj. Sandra Jones has been whispered about throughout the SERE—survive, evade, resist, escape—community for weeks, as one of the very few attendees ever who
LANGLEY AFB, Va. — Air Force lawyers suffered a major embarrassment yesterday, after Judge Advocate General Capt. Jim Hansard was found guilty in a food court of cutting the line at
JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Md.—In honor of Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Day, Joint Base Andrews commander Col. Richard Weinerstein has ordered all flags flown at half-staff. “Many of our airmen find
WASHINGTON — Officers across the military who have been awarded Bronze Stars say they are terrified for the future after learning that President Donald Trump had on Wednesday rescinded four bullshit
CAMP PENDLETON, Calif.—The moment that installation commanders have been claiming would happen has finally taken place: A Marine wearing a reflective belt has been hit by a car. The
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — As more and more young Afghans turn to television and social media, the Taliban's leaders are worried its youth are no longer ready for the fight
WASHINGTON — After 71 years, the U.S. Air Force is changing its name, the U.S. As Fuck (USAF) announced today. The world’s premier air and space force decided
I heard you talking earlier about how you were in the military. First, thank you for your service. That’s awesome and I want to let you know, I appreciate
STUTTGART, Germany—Military liaison officers throughout Europe are anxiously watching developments after Major Marco Lopez, U.S. Army Europe (USAREUR) liaison to Headquarters, U.S. European Command (HQ USEUCOM), was
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