Pentagon destroyed Islamic State cash by investing in F-35

WASHINGTON — In addition to bombing multiple Islamic State financial targets last week, officials announced they destroyed "hundreds of millions of dollars" of cash by investing it

"Whac-a-Mole: Jihadi Edition" a hit at CENTCOM

TAMPA, Fla. — The popular arcade game "Whac-A-Mole" has released a new "Jihadi Edition" designed specifically for game rooms in U.S. Central

'We're making real progress,' say last 17 commanders in Afghanistan

BAGRAM AIRFIELD, Afghanistan — The past 17 commanders of international forces in Afghanistan, as well as other US leaders, say the coalition is making "real progress" towards

Saudi Arabia beheads first female robot citizen

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — The number of robot citizens in Saudi Arabia was reduced back to zero today after Sophia Robot was beheaded in a public square in Riyadh.

ISIS platoon still waiting for IED team after 7 hours

KANDAHAR — An ISIS infantry platoon is still waiting for the IED Team to show up after calling them more than seven hours ago, sources confirmed today. "These

Realistic new 'Counterinsurgency' video game lets you watch troops fuck up until you're fired

SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you're fired, sources confirmed today. Titled Counterinsurgency,

ISIS recruit dines with new Blackwater employee during layover

KUWAIT – The Shake Shack at Kuwait International Airport felt like a tasty farewell to western culture as Darrell Holden and Mo Deaver awaited their connecting flights to join

Trump orders Pentagon to conduct military parade and make North Korea pay for it

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has ordered the Pentagon to begin planning a massive military parade to be held in downtown Washington, which he promised he would make North

ISIS bride launches bath bomb business on Etsy

AL-HOUL CAMP, Syria – ISIS bride Hoda Muthana is fighting to return from Syria the old fashioned American way — by running her own business until she can afford

Hippie Taliban defector gets so stoned

LASHKAR GAH, Afghanistan — Gesturing the "peace" sign and telling fellow fighters that he was "totally done with this insurgent stuff, man," hippie Taliban defector

Fans excited for final season of Afghanistan

BAGRAM, Afghanistan — Fans of Afghanistan, already America’s longest running drama, are excited for the premier of the final season of the conflict, whenever that may be. A

Russia quietly applies to join NATO

Checkmate, West.

15,000 dead after longest Russian drill weekend ever

Afghan veteran launches Brown rifle chai company

Chai or die.