This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
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Pentagon 'pretty sure' it can ditch counterinsurgency manual this time
WASHINGTON — The Pentagon's top spokesperson said he was "pretty sure" the military could ditch the manual used for counterinsurgency, since
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
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168 stories in this section
Pentagon to build $6.8 billion center to combat fraud, waste, and abuse
PENTAGON – The Department of Defense has announced it would build a new $6.8 billion "Center of Excellence" in San Jose, California dedicated to combatting fraud,
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Trump to host “who wants to be a cabinet secretary?” to find next secretary of defense
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House is negotiating a reality television show with producer Mark Burnett to identify the next secretary of defense nominee with President Donald Trump
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Pentagon press corps establishes fund to locate missing government spokesmen
WASHINGTON — Members of the Pentagon Press Corps announced a $3 million GoFundMe campaign to raise money to find, locate, and recover missing senior Department of Defense officials by
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Budget-crunched Pentagon introduces 549-cord
Every penny counts.
Oct 22, 2021 · 2 min read
Spelling error leads to mandatory vacations for all US troops
How dare they force vacations on us.
Jul 30, 2021 · 2 min read
Ransomware takedown of DTS went unnoticed for years
Approved expense reports would have raised more suspicions.
Jul 16, 2021 · 2 min read
Donald Rumsfeld refuses to live in a world without war in Afghanistan
Goodnight, sweet prince.
Jul 1, 2021 · 1 min read
Pentagon says vaccinated troops no longer have to wear masks while throwing up in an Uber
Finally a return to normalcy.
May 26, 2021 · 1 min read
Pentagon celebrates its military children with gifts of lifelong therapy and alcoholism
We are giving them the two things we know they will need.
Apr 23, 2021 · 1 min read
US finally leaves Afghanistan
“It is time to close this chapter of American history."
Apr 1, 2021 · 1 min read
Pentagon disappointed with results of ‘it’s just a little prick’ vaccine campaign
“It takes a little prick to stop Covid-19.”
Mar 24, 2021 · 1 min read
.50-cal-equipped Roomba becomes sentient and sweeps room
“We’re just really glad it didn’t become a Roomba Terminator,” said Pfc. John Connor.
Nov 18, 2020 · 2 min read
Esper fired for not being coup enough, sources say
“The president could just respect the decision of the Electoral College, but he thinks he’s too coup for schoo.”
Nov 13, 2020 · 1 min read
Former Defense Secretary Mark Esper refuses to leave Pentagon until he can figure out USAJOBS site
“Trump has his timeline. I have mine."
Nov 11, 2020 · 2 min read
DoD awards $89 billion contract for top-secret weapons system to fight sexual harassment
THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense has awarded an $89 billion contract to build a new top-secret weapons system to eliminate sexual harassment, sources confirmed today. “Eliminating
Nov 6, 2020 · 1 min read
