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Pentagon says vaccinated troops no longer have to wear masks while throwing up in an Uber
Finally a return to normalcy.
May 26, 2021 · 1 min read
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158 stories in this section
Pentagon disappointed with results of ‘it’s just a little prick’ vaccine campaign
“It takes a little prick to stop Covid-19.”
Mar 24, 2021 · 1 min read
.50-cal-equipped Roomba becomes sentient and sweeps room
“We’re just really glad it didn’t become a Roomba Terminator,” said Pfc. John Connor.
Nov 18, 2020 · 2 min read
Esper fired for not being coup enough, sources say
“The president could just respect the decision of the Electoral College, but he thinks he’s too coup for schoo.”
Nov 13, 2020 · 1 min read
Former Defense Secretary Mark Esper refuses to leave Pentagon until he can figure out USAJOBS site
“Trump has his timeline. I have mine."
Nov 11, 2020 · 2 min read
DoD awards $89 billion contract for top-secret weapons system to fight sexual harassment
THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense has awarded an $89 billion contract to build a new top-secret weapons system to eliminate sexual harassment, sources confirmed today. “Eliminating
Nov 6, 2020 · 1 min read
