Former Marine Sergeant Trademarks ‘Wagner Loves Cock’, Sues Government For $41M

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Sources at the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) confirmed today that former Sergeant Kristofer Wagner, the Marine best known throughout the United States military as “Wagner Loves Cock,” had trademarked his catch-phrase and was planning to sue the US government over its unauthorized use.

Speaking to reporters, Wagner’s lawyer Timothy Kranz said that Wagner planned to seek over $41 million in damages for at least 13,462 counts of unauthorized usage by the US military over the last seven years.

“We see no difference between a Marine writing ‘Wagner Loves Cock’, ‘Disney Loves Cock’, or ‘The Church of Scientology Loves Cock’ inside a porta-john,” said Kranz. “In all cases, a trademark is being violated.”

US military spokesman Captain Bradley Moore denied that ‘Wagner Loves Cock’ could be trademarked.

“‘Wagner Loves Cock’ was created by Sergeant Wagner while he was deployed to Iraq in 2005,” Captain Moore said. “As Sergeant Wagner was an employee of the United States Government and carrying out official duties at the time, he is ineligible to copyright his ‘WLC’ phrase.”

However Kranz points to a December 21, 2004 filing by Sergeant Wagner of ”Wagner Loves Cock’ which predates the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit’s Iraq deployment by several months. According to Kranz, Wagner was a private citizen when he filed the trademark and therefore the phrase is eligible.



In addition, Kranz observed that in 2006 the Marine Corps had determined that a deployed Marine recorded singing the controversial song Hadji Girl, was not in uniform at the time, and thus not carrying out official duties.

“If the US military wants, we can produce at least one picture of Wagner in a porta-john from the 2005 deployment, balls out and most definitely not in uniform, writing ‘Wagner Loves Cock’ on the wall.”

Kranz said that in addition to the lawsuit, Wagner planned to begin releasing “Wagner Loves Cock” clothing through his company BluTrane.

“Now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been repealed, there are a lot of gay active-duty and former Marines who want to express their pride, but in an unconventional or humorous manner,” said Kranz.

He then held up a pair of pink camouflage shirts: one said “Wagner Loves Cock” and the other one just said “Wagner”.

“We expect these will sell like hotcakes,” Kranz said, “especially once we secure the rights to sell them on-base at the Marine Corps Exchange.”

According to official Marine Corps historians, “Wagner Loves Cock” originated among the Marines and sailors of the 22nd MEU while deployed to the Iraqi city of Hit in 2005.  The phrase quickly spread through Iraq and later Afghanistan, appearing on porta-johns, bus seats, chow halls, and occasionally in insurgent propaganda.

The phrase became known nationwide after Al-Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden said in a video that “Al Qaeda is loving death like Wagner is loving cock.”

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