FORT CAMPBELL, KY - First Sergeants throughout the Army and Marine Corps are celebrating the release of a study today that shows a direct and positive impact on combat performance that correlates with random, pointless formations.

Thomas Burns, lead researcher for military think-tank Xegis Solutions, conducted a study with the 43rd Engineering Battalion at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.

"We studied three companies in the battalion. One company had twenty formations a day, the other had ten, and the last one had zero. These weren't necessary formations -- the First Sergeant would simply say to the Platoon Sergeants, 'Get everybody together, I've got information to put out'."

He continued, "the inevitable calls of "Foooooorrrrmmmmaaation!!!!! Out front in the parking lot!" would soon echo throughout the unit. Once the troops were assembled, the First Sergeant would usually let them stand there for fifteen to thirty minutes before finally dismissing the company to return to scheduled work."