So I had surgery this week. Nothing crazy, but enough to put me on some serious medication for a while.
Let me tell you, greatest day of my life man. I fucking love the Army. These big old pills for pain, then some others to help me sleep well. I guess those are for when all the vodka shots don’t make me pass out then the pills can finish me off. I decided to take it easy, since First Sergeant says I don’t have to show up to work for the next few days. Convalescent leave or something. Who the hell cares?
This morning I rubbed one out in the gang shower of my barracks while all those other poor fuckers were in the motor pool picking up cigarette butts and listening to Sergeant Major justify his existence. I think I must have passed out though. Woke up naked on the tile floor. Probably gonna get hepatitis or some shit. Water was cold as fuck, and there’s a bruise on my head. Good thing the Army gave me all those pain killers. Wash a few down with a beer and I’m good to go. Spent the next two hours dominating Black Ops II online. Yelled at some little fuckers who don’t know what real war is like. This was shaping up to be a great night. The only thing that really worried me was the Percocet. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a soldier in the depths of a ‘Perc binge. And I knew I'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably after the next round.
