Army Announces New Occupational Specialties; Includes Decruiters, Clearing Barrel NCO

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Fortification enhancement specialists at work.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Army reported the creation of several new Military Occupational Specialties today, seeking to ease the burden on current servicemembers already pulling double- and triple-duty. By spreading some of the workload to these new MOS holders, soldiers like infantrymen or mechanics can focus their efforts completely on their primary tasks and duties. Ultimately, the Army hopes that it can increase the numbers of presence patrols conducted, hours it can dedicate to mentoring coalition forces, shorter vehicle downtime in maintenance shops, and an overall more effective fighting force.

Some of the newly created MOS offerings include:

31S—Chow Bouncer: The Chow Bouncer is a new MOS in the 31 series, reserved for Military Police roles. Duties include supervising entrances to military dining facilities, or DFACs, to ensure that all entering personnel are in appropriate uniform, have their military ID cards, dogtags, a current copy of orders, long-form birth certificates, and a blood sample before eating. Common functions of the Chow Bouncer’s job will include turning hungry, sometimes belligerent soldiers away for not having their ID cards, or for attempting to wear dirty PTs or personal protective equipment into the mess hall. As with all 31 series MOS holders, the Chow Bouncer will operate outside the normal rank structure in the performance of his or her duties, and will have unchecked power over all other soldiers in the Army (except Warrant Officers.)



22G—Fortification Enhancement Specialist: Fortification Enhancement Specialists are responsible for ordering, filling, and deploying the Army’s growing array of sandbags. From the standard NSN 8105-00-142-9345 “Green” sandbags to high-tech, modernized NSN 8105-01-331-3704 “Tan” sandbags, 22Gs will gain job skills critical to the operation and maintenance of Army bases overseas. Advanced Individual Training (AIT) for this branch will last 23 weeks, and cover the 83 ways to fill sandbags, as well as how to order and use replacement parts for broken sandbags.

92C—Clearing Barrel NCO: Clearing Barrel NCOs will provide assistance to officers and support-specialty soldiers who find reading explicit directions from a billboard too complicated. The primary role of the 92C is to guide confused soldiers through the appropriate clearing procedures, or replacing the weapon with a tin whistle, in case the soldier becomes endangered in future operations.

89R—Brass Recovery Specialist: A new position in the Ordnance Corps, Brass and Ammo Recovery Specialists at home will scour ranges in order to collect and sort spent brass casings leftover from previous training events. When deployed overseas, these soldiers may find themselves attached to patrols and combat operations, closely following the Forward Line of Troops and recovering spent brass under situations of extreme pressure. When at all possible, Brass Recovery Specialists will also be encouraged to collect brass fired by enemy combatants.

79G—Decruiter NCO: 79G is a new secondary MOS available to qualified personnel. With Army and National Guard units vastly oversized and facing sweeping budgetary reductions, Decruitment NCOs will specialize in counseling fellow soldiers against reenlistment. Consideration for bonuses will be made for Decruiters who can dissuade Sergeants First Class or above from reenlistment, in an effort to clear the career path for lower enlisted personnel and to save the Army money on future pension payments.

Guidance for the new military occupational specialties have already been sent out to soldiers on recruiting duty nationwide.

Dirty

Dirty once ate frozen yogurt while pulling security around an ice cream truck deep in a Thai jungle. His hobbies include rock painting, ditch digging, radio checks, and SSD1.