First Female Army Ranger Brags About Her Veiny, Seven-Inch Clitoris Dick Scuttlebutt March 10, 2014 Army 56 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: FORT BENNING — The first woman in history to graduate from Army Ranger School, arguably the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. military, and thus the world, has just pinned on her Ranger tab — and she is letting the world know how proud she is of her very large clitoris. 1st Lt. Penny O’Keefe, who was also one of the first females to pass the Army’s Infantry basic training course, told a group of reporters assembled to witness her historic graduation all about her genitalia. “Glass ceilings and good-ole-boys beware,” O’Keefe said, smiling broadly. “You might be used to Rangers having big swinging dicks. But this Ranger,” she said, pointing to herself, “has a clitoris. A veiny, throbbing, seven-and-one-quarter inch clitoris.” “Plus, it leaks a white fluid when she gets excited,” said her boyfriend, Navy SEAL Bleys Pasquale, running a hand through his exquisitely-gelled hair. “It’s hot,” he added, squeezing O’Keefe playfully. This kind of talk may seem vulgar to some, but in the Rangers, which is the cream of the crop in the Special Operations community, it is considered commonplace to engage in rough talk. And O’Keefe can be forgiven for indulging in the practice — that bad-talking lieutenant just became an inspiration for millions of women around the world, putting to rest hundreds of years of sexist exclusion and inequality in the military. Pasquale, her boyfriend, is more supportive than most men in the military would be. “It doesn’t bother me that she has a hard-charging spec ops job,” he said, gesticulating effeminately and brushing lint off his teal capezios. “I love having a tough little hard-bodied butch girlfriend. It might make some guys feel inadequate, but I’m a SEAL and I wax every inch of my body, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem for me. We’ll probably have some great celebration sex tonight too.” “Only not too much. It makes my butthole hurt after awhile,” he added. Fellow Ranger School graduates had high praise for O’Keefe. “I was really impressed with the way she performed in the SERE portion,” said Staff Sgt. Juan Gonzalez, an artilleryman from 3-319th Field Artillery. “She lasted longer than any of us, because when the instructors got close with their tracker dogs, Ranger O’Keefe covered herself in period blood to hide her scent. It threw the hounds off long enough for her to slip away and last out in the woods another 12 hours before they got her.” O’Keefe received a phone call from President Obama the day before her graduation, congratulating her for blazing a trail in military equal opportunity and thanking her for setting such an important example. The White House tweeted its congratulations as well, in addition to its commitment to sending openly gay and transgendered soldiers to Ranger School in the future. O’Keefe will report to her first Ranger assignment at Fort Stewart, Georgia, early next month and will likely lead a platoon of Rangers in combat in Afghanistan soon. Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/KMbaO Will Forton says: November 18, 2014 at 9:44 PM If there is any truth to this story Wichita I think is bullll shit, it’s discussing to say the least. Lt. Go eat a pile of shit because that’s what you are. JJ Robinson says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM for one they just started taking applications,she /he didn’t even get to Ranger school yet, i know how guys talk i am a military wife but this is disgusting,the Rangers /Green Berets i know have class ! Michael Pinson says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM This article is bullshit. Justin Colona says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM Its not a seven inch clitoris its a seven inch penis its a he she James Laird says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM AAm I supposed to believe this bullshit. Ramon Edwardo Herrera Barrientes says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM I thought no women has pass the army Infantry couse yet either, Fake!!! artical!! James B Carl says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM sounds like a foul mouthed porn star Aaron Shaw says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM That’s funny…and totally bull shit. Lol Dan Miller says: November 5, 2014 at 7:58 AM Human stupidity never ceases to amaze. Clearly fake if this was a world where common sense prevailed. Kirk Antony Watson says: October 5, 2014 at 5:44 PM this is a lie William J. A. Nisbet says: September 22, 2014 at 3:44 PM Come to Ranger School and become part of America’s throbbing cock and now clitoris of justice! Keith John Cook says: September 20, 2014 at 6:14 PM To funny!! Amusing little pun!! Angie McCormick Ricketts says: September 20, 2014 at 2:44 PM “It makes my butthole hurt after a while.” This is such perfection. Nathaniel J. Lee says: September 20, 2014 at 2:44 PM Love your guy’s blogs, but ranger school doesn’t get you into Bat, you have to go to RIP for that. Well RASP now. Anonymous says: September 20, 2014 at 8:59 AM THIS IS FAKE B.S.!!!! First: There is no SERE portion of RANGER school! Second: RANGER or not, NO Officer, male or female, would be indulged in speaking in such a vulgar manner in any article (PERIOD). Having a Ranger Tab does not excuse professionalism; EVER. Third: The “sexist exclusion and inequality in the military” crap, is an underlying bias within this fictitious dribble that fails to even hint to the focus on tradition and upholding the legacy of excellence that those who fought and died before have established. The very pillars that the Ranger Creed advocates and that Ranger training instills! Again, this is utterly and ridiculously fake, and should be seen as an embarrassment to anyone even remotely connected with writing or posting it! Rangers Lead the Way / De Oppresso Liber Jason Plourde says: September 20, 2014 at 8:28 AM First things first officers have it easier than enlisted and women also have it easier. Eric York says: September 20, 2014 at 8:28 AM Has anyone here ever heard of satire?!!! Well, this is it in all it’s fucking glory. Donald A. Mc Farland says: September 20, 2014 at 12:44 AM Didn’t they lower the standards for women? Ken Carlsen says: September 19, 2014 at 9:44 PM Cream of the crop, they are modified crunchies Len Knee says: September 19, 2014 at 9:44 PM Army Ranger School, arguably the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. military, and thus the world? BULLSHIT!!!!! BUDS training is!!! Doubt she would even survive Hell Week!!!! Leo F Scott says: September 19, 2014 at 4:43 PM I see already she is very professional publically! Smh Carol Shriver Fairchild says: September 19, 2014 at 4:43 PM That’s disgusting…the article and the human who is the focus! Sharon Turner says: September 19, 2014 at 4:43 PM Finally a woman does something hard core and awesome, then instead of acting like a woman, she acts like a piece of ass. Stacy Stites says: September 19, 2014 at 4:43 PM Sam & Ray…funny stuff. Bill Bonzer says: September 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM Francis Marion would be proud…. Bruce SpyderShadow-Rider Lininger says: September 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM PJ school is the toughest school in the U.S. Military. Christopher Molon Labe Mott says: September 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM this is obviously pre “The special operation”. lol Jerry Koch says: September 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM I heard over a year ago through news sources that standards were going to be lowered in Ranger school not only for women but for men also. Thus it would make it easier for females to get through. Has anyone else heard this? Pavel Bure says: September 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM >the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. military >Army Rangers Pick One. Peter Martuneac says: August 11, 2014 at 8:43 PM “…the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. Military…” Lol. That’s all I have to say. Brandon Meyer says: August 2, 2014 at 10:59 AM It’s rather telling that commenters here are stating the Army has, in fact, already lowered the standards for women to pass Ranger school, when the Army still hasn’t opened Ranger school to women, and doesn’t plan to until 2015. Dan Kemp says: July 18, 2014 at 11:29 AM [austinpowers] THAT’S A MAN, BABY! [/austinpowers]. Dale Simpson says: July 16, 2014 at 8:14 PM She’s hideous…well yeah she’s a satire… Mel Faulk says: June 30, 2014 at 10:58 AM yep and I heard they have lowered the bar to pass these courses it is now known as a gentlemens club. When women can compete on the same course with the grueling courses that men have for years before women came into the game, then I say good for them, but lowering the standards is not good for anyone! Drew Shaw says: June 25, 2014 at 11:14 AM “And thus the world”. Whatever. The British and Israelis would laugh at that. And, sorry to tell you, but the infantry officer course run by Canada has been ranked by both Australian and British visiting OCs as slightly more gruelling than their domestic courses. And how cute that you Johnny-come-latelies think you’re the first to allow women in combat trades. Spoiler Alert: you’re not. Joel Locklear says: June 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM One more scheme to undermind the greatness of America. It is a insult to the SF community and to anyone who has ever been through RIP/RASP, active Rangers, all of the veterans and the memory Joel Locklear says: June 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM Who has earned the tab and the memory of all the Rangers KIA. I am grateful to those officers who tried to stop this ridiculous charade. They where forced out or similarly punished. This administration has done a lot of damage. Chris Knecht Sr. says: May 19, 2014 at 6:09 PM If that’s an example of Army Rangers today we are so fucked! Scotty Baird says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM She’s foul and nasty! I wouldn’t go anywhere she went. Obama is a disgrace! Carlos Roque says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM *Wtf Carlos Roque says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM WE did I just read 0__o Spitting Venom says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Please tell me this isn’t real… Vineet Gupta says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Lol…Can i see the pic? Christopher Leete says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Nicholas Renshaw says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM lower fucking standards. she basically graduated infantry school for guys. not rangers Angry Warrant says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Thanks, Duffleblog. Now I feel dirty. Daniel Peters says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM hahah Chris Knecht Sr. says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Sounds like a true nutjob! John Sehler says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Damn! What does she do to prevent her from stepping on it? David Buffamoyer says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Hey Penny is my mom! Chuck Doofé says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM “Plus, it leaks a white fluid when she gets excited,” said her boyfriend, Navy SEAL Bleys Pasquale, running a hand through his exquisitely-gelled hair. “It’s hot,” he added, squeezing O’Keefe playfully.” Aww, true love right there. Joel Stanley says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM *knock knock knock* Penny. *knock knock knock* Penny. *knock knock knock* Penny. Melissa Rutland says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM It’s called a penis. Michael Z. Williamson says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM But what about Special Forces?