First Female Army Ranger Brags About Her Veiny, Seven-Inch Clitoris Dick Scuttlebutt March 10, 2014 Army 27 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: PrevNextUse your ← → (arrow) keys to browse FORT BENNING — The first woman in history to graduate from Army Ranger School, arguably the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. military, and thus the world, has just pinned on her Ranger tab — and she is letting the world know how proud she is of her very large clitoris. 1st Lt. Penny O’Keefe, who was also one of the first females to pass the Army’s Infantry basic training course, told a group of reporters assembled to witness her historic graduation all about her genitalia. “Glass ceilings and good-ole-boys beware,” O’Keefe said, smiling broadly. “You might be used to Rangers having big swinging dicks. But this Ranger,” she said, pointing to herself, “has a clitoris. A veiny, throbbing, seven-and-one-quarter inch clitoris.” “Plus, it leaks a white fluid when she gets excited,” said her boyfriend, Navy SEAL Bleys Pasquale, running a hand through his exquisitely-gelled hair. “It’s hot,” he added, squeezing O’Keefe playfully. This kind of talk may seem vulgar to some, but in the Rangers, which is the cream of the crop in the Special Operations community, it is considered commonplace to engage in rough talk. And O’Keefe can be forgiven for indulging in the practice — that bad-talking lieutenant just became an inspiration for millions of women around the world, putting to rest hundreds of years of sexist exclusion and inequality in the military. Pasquale, her boyfriend, is more supportive than most men in the military would be. “It doesn’t bother me that she has a hard-charging spec ops job,” he said, gesticulating effeminately and brushing lint off his teal capezios. “I love having a tough little hard-bodied butch girlfriend. It might make some guys feel inadequate, but I’m a SEAL and I wax every inch of my body, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem for me. We’ll probably have some great celebration sex tonight too.” “Only not too much. It makes my butthole hurt after awhile,” he added. Fellow Ranger School graduates had high praise for O’Keefe. “I was really impressed with the way she performed in the SERE portion,” said Staff Sgt. Juan Gonzalez, an artilleryman from 3-319th Field Artillery. “She lasted longer than any of us, because when the instructors got close with their tracker dogs, Ranger O’Keefe covered herself in period blood to hide her scent. It threw the hounds off long enough for her to slip away and last out in the woods another 12 hours before they got her.” O’Keefe received a phone call from President Obama the day before her graduation, congratulating her for blazing a trail in military equal opportunity and thanking her for setting such an important example. The White House tweeted its congratulations as well, in addition to its commitment to sending openly gay and transgendered soldiers to Ranger School in the future. O’Keefe will report to her first Ranger assignment at Fort Stewart, Georgia, early next month and will likely lead a platoon of Rangers in combat in Afghanistan soon. Peter Martuneac says: August 11, 2014 at 8:43 PM “…the most grueling, toughest training in the U.S. Military…” Lol. That’s all I have to say. Brandon Meyer says: August 2, 2014 at 10:59 AM It’s rather telling that commenters here are stating the Army has, in fact, already lowered the standards for women to pass Ranger school, when the Army still hasn’t opened Ranger school to women, and doesn’t plan to until 2015. Dan Kemp says: July 18, 2014 at 11:29 AM [austinpowers] THAT’S A MAN, BABY! [/austinpowers]. Dale Simpson says: July 16, 2014 at 8:14 PM She’s hideous…well yeah she’s a satire… Mel Faulk says: June 30, 2014 at 10:58 AM yep and I heard they have lowered the bar to pass these courses it is now known as a gentlemens club. When women can compete on the same course with the grueling courses that men have for years before women came into the game, then I say good for them, but lowering the standards is not good for anyone! Drew Shaw says: June 25, 2014 at 11:14 AM “And thus the world”. Whatever. The British and Israelis would laugh at that. And, sorry to tell you, but the infantry officer course run by Canada has been ranked by both Australian and British visiting OCs as slightly more gruelling than their domestic courses. And how cute that you Johnny-come-latelies think you’re the first to allow women in combat trades. Spoiler Alert: you’re not. Joel Locklear says: June 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM One more scheme to undermind the greatness of America. It is a insult to the SF community and to anyone who has ever been through RIP/RASP, active Rangers, all of the veterans and the memory Joel Locklear says: June 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM Who has earned the tab and the memory of all the Rangers KIA. I am grateful to those officers who tried to stop this ridiculous charade. They where forced out or similarly punished. This administration has done a lot of damage. Chris Knecht Sr. says: May 19, 2014 at 6:09 PM If that’s an example of Army Rangers today we are so fucked! Scotty Baird says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM She’s foul and nasty! I wouldn’t go anywhere she went. Obama is a disgrace! Carlos Roque says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM *Wtf Carlos Roque says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM WE did I just read 0__o Spitting Venom says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Please tell me this isn’t real… Vineet Gupta says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Lol…Can i see the pic? Christopher Leete says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Nicholas Renshaw says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM lower fucking standards. she basically graduated infantry school for guys. not rangers Angry Warrant says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Thanks, Duffleblog. Now I feel dirty. Daniel Peters says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM hahah Chris Knecht Sr. says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Sounds like a true nutjob! John Sehler says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Damn! What does she do to prevent her from stepping on it? David Buffamoyer says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM Hey Penny is my mom! Chuck Doofé says: April 16, 2014 at 3:10 AM “Plus, it leaks a white fluid when she gets excited,” said her boyfriend, Navy SEAL Bleys Pasquale, running a hand through his exquisitely-gelled hair. “It’s hot,” he added, squeezing O’Keefe playfully.” Aww, true love right there. Joel Stanley says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM *knock knock knock* Penny. *knock knock knock* Penny. *knock knock knock* Penny. Melissa Rutland says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM It’s called a penis. Michael Z. Williamson says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM But what about Special Forces?