Boko Haram Demands 10 Million Retweets In Exchange For Kidnapped Girls Lee Ho Fuk May 15, 2014 OPFOR 17 Comments NORTHERN NIGERIA — In an attempt to remain relevant in the face of NBA race scandals and celebrity elevator brawls, Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau agreed to release his school girl hostages as soon as the #BringBackOurGirls campaign reached 10 million retweets, sources confirmed Thursday. “We will never release them until after your social media activism reaches a truly significant number of people,” tweeted Shekau, adding that he meant only those girls who have not converted to Islam and been married off to his fighters to live a life of submission and servitude. In response to the new demands, Marine Corps Cyberspace Command unveiled a new Twitter task force of Marine Expeditionary Hashtaggers (MEH). “This is a whole new theater of warfare,” said MARFORCYBER spokesman Lt. Col. Brock Ruggedsson. “The Marines of the MEH will significantly impact world events 140 outraged characters at a time. They will heed the clarion call of battle not in the front line but in the social media trenches online. The MEH will fight our countries battles via Twitter, on Facebook, and YouTube.” “We will hashtag for right and freedom and to keep our online presence clean,” he added. The intent of the MEH is to apply social media pressure in an effort to force an apology from the Islamic terrorist group “because that will make it all better,” according to MEH Operations Officer Capt. Hunter Boone. “The warriors of the MEH are standing by for inaction.” Once the MEH begins social media operations it is predicted Boko Haram and other terrorist organizations will fold under the humiliation and pressure of online shaming. Meritorious Service Medals have already been written up for the entire MEH staff in anticipation of their unprecedented victory. NOW: 7 Hashtags The White House Used To Solve Major World Problems > David Cline says: May 20, 2014 at 11:09 PM hashtag# we are gonna kick your ass. Retweet that mo-fo Roy Wesley Brady Jr says: May 16, 2014 at 7:31 PM I just lost 3 minutes of my life reading this article ill never get those minutes back….call a fast team in and call it a day Anthony Laird says: May 16, 2014 at 11:39 AM I don’t know what’s funnier, the MEH lol or the entire farce of an article, or the idiots who think this is real. Marc S. Payne says: May 16, 2014 at 3:54 AM This is too funny. Josh Noble says: May 15, 2014 at 11:54 PM Wait, is this the same group that made a version of (and generally the most widely played) A Whiter Shade of Pale? Jeff Hunt says: May 15, 2014 at 8:54 PM Oh come on. They think Tweets are going to do something??? Tweets aren’t strong enough. Don’t they know, the only way to fix something serious like this is to post impassioned Youtube speech videos? Fuckin get with it. Somebody get First Lt Gaga on the phone now and tell her start filming ASAP. Julio Perez says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM Kony 2012! Tom Courtney says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM this is not legitimate Austin Burges says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM And I thought Emma Watson and Michelle Obama were gonna have to do everything by themselves. Lilbigman Wood says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM what a bunch of shit Philip Clifford says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM You can not co-exist with people that want to kill you !!. Eric Fettmann says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM Looks like some people on this site have a problem recognizing satire. David May says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM MSM’s? They should be getting Purple Hearts for the potential backlash from other Twitter users! Sean Whitenton says: May 15, 2014 at 5:25 PM Wow. It’s going to be interesting hearing all those who claim that hashtag activism accomplishes nothing try to back peddle after this circulates.