NORFOLK — Navy Fleet Forces Command announced today that February's replacement of an attack submarine skipper was related to an outbreak of toxic shock syndrome aboard the boat. Sources confirmed today that Cdr. Robert Jensen, commanding officer of USS Dallas (SSN-700), was relieved after it was discovered he had been the source of the toxicity for the past four years.

“We just kind of forgot he was down there,” Fleet Forces Command spokeswoman Lt. Cmdr. Katie Hodgins said. “Look, sometimes you get busy with work and social obligations. Four years go by and realize you’ve left someone in a slot they don’t belong in anymore for way too long.”