CAMP LEJEUNE, NC — In a school circle early on Friday afternoon, 1st Sgt. Roberto Ramirez of Company C, 1st Battalion, 6th Marines took an unprecedented approach in his liberty brief by declaring a safe space from all of his Marines' weekend bullshit.
"From the moment the CO releases you until zero-six on Monday morning is now a safe space for myself and the company staff," Ramirez said. "A safe space from all of your shenanigans. None of your bullshit will take place in my safe space. This includes DUI's, hazing, speeding tickets, and anything involving strippers. "
The established safe space will finally give the first sergeant a chance to fix the leak in his roof at home, eat a nice, quiet dinner with his family, and allow him to refrain from screaming obscenities that startle his wife at 3 a.m. after receiving a phone call from the military police.