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14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

20,000+readers briefed

Monday, June 15, 2026

Page 17 of 176

‘Declaration of military accountability’ written entirely in Comic Sans

‘Declaration of military accountability’ written entirely in Comic Sans

“We needed a font that would be taken as seriously as we are.”

Jan 3, 2024 2 min read paid

General Nakasone loses sticky note with Cyber command master password

General Nakasone loses sticky note with Cyber command master password

"I had it in my wallet too, but I got a new one and I guess I didn't move it over."

Jan 2, 2024 2 min read paid

Does he love you or is he just trying to leave the barracks?

Does he love you or is he just trying to leave the barracks?

Maybe your hot sister could move in too?

Dec 27, 2023 2 min read paid

New Year's resolutions for the services

New Year's resolutions for the services

Yeah, we know we're late. It was a rough New Year's party.

Dec 26, 2023 3 min read paid

Study finds 87% of Marine privates could be replaced with Roombas

Study finds 87% of Marine privates could be replaced with Roombas

Can a Roomba beat a final boss or drink 7 Four Lokos in 14 minutes?

Dec 26, 2023 1 min read paid

USMC plan to 'kill ships from islands' frustrated by Lance Cpl. plan to 'kill shit right here'

USMC plan to 'kill ships from islands' frustrated by Lance Cpl. plan to 'kill shit right here'

PLA 'bout to get wrecked by 160 lbs of Monster, Copenhagen, and tattoos

Dec 22, 2023 2 min read paid

E4 Mafia tries to submit ‘alternate slate of evaluators’ for promotion board

E4 Mafia tries to submit ‘alternate slate of evaluators’ for promotion board

"This was nothing more than a peaceful tour of a promotion board"

Dec 19, 2023 2 min read paid

First Sergeant still an asshole after visit from ghosts on Christmas eve

First Sergeant still an asshole after visit from ghosts on Christmas eve

"Screw you ungrateful shitbirds, everyone!"

Dec 18, 2023 1 min read paid

Hallmark's military holiday movie to feature love story, crippling alcoholism

Hallmark's military holiday movie to feature love story, crippling alcoholism

Generically attractive people to portray bland actions for basic audience

Dec 14, 2023 2 min read paid

Bipartisanship! Congress funds monument to all the allies it’s screwed over

Bipartisanship! Congress funds monument to all the allies it’s screwed over

Whether cost cutting, xenophobia, or just casual disinterest, they're not us!

Dec 14, 2023 3 min read paid

Zelensky to congressional leaders: "May you live forever"

Zelensky to congressional leaders: "May you live forever"

Alpha males line up to avoid a fight

Dec 13, 2023 2 min read paid

It's a first! Air Force basic trainee becomes grandad

It's a first! Air Force basic trainee becomes grandad

Tricare for life is cool but how long is this guy gonna be around?

Dec 12, 2023 2 min read paid

The 12 days of extra duty

The 12 days of extra duty

Merry Christmas, Boot. You got firewatch.

Dec 11, 2023 2 min read paid

Douglas Macgregor insists Satan has “perfectly defensible reasons” in war for human souls

Douglas Macgregor insists Satan has “perfectly defensible reasons” in war for human souls

"Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve."

Dec 11, 2023 1 min read paid

Turn your access to classified information into a side hustle with these five steps

Turn your access to classified information into a side hustle with these five steps

What could go wrong? This is easy money.

Dec 6, 2023 3 min read paid

Vet walks around PX avoiding life; reminiscing about walking around the PX avoiding work

Vet walks around PX avoiding life; reminiscing about walking around the PX avoiding work

Panda Express? Robin Hood? Subway? Dude, let's check out GameStop.

Dec 5, 2023 2 min read paid

Navy football’s jerseys exclude SEALs in favor of the silent service

Navy football’s jerseys exclude SEALs in favor of the silent service

Who even knew there were Navy people that aren't SEALS?

Dec 5, 2023 3 min read paid

US vows evacuation of citizens from Gaza will be as flawless as Afghan evacuation

US vows evacuation of citizens from Gaza will be as flawless as Afghan evacuation

Sometimes the sequel is even better than the original.

Dec 5, 2023 2 min read paid

Nine line apparel rolls out home furnishing collection

Nine line apparel rolls out home furnishing collection

Nothing says Patriot like a multi-cam davenport

Dec 5, 2023 2 min read paid

Army football player has no idea he'll eventually be relieved from command

Army football player has no idea he'll eventually be relieved from command

But we all saw it coming.

Dec 4, 2023 1 min read paid

38-year-old soldier uses GI bill to go to Hogwarts

38-year-old soldier uses GI bill to go to Hogwarts

Whomping Willows aside, he will still need to certify enrollment

Nov 28, 2023 3 min read paid

Gen Z turns against Osama Bin Laden after discovering problematic tweets

Gen Z turns against Osama Bin Laden after discovering problematic tweets

Vibe check! OBL was living rent free in these simps and stans heads!

Nov 20, 2023 2 min read paid

Army authorizes women to grow beards

Army authorizes women to grow beards

Downstairs is probably gonna become a nightmare.

Nov 20, 2023 3 min read paid

Commandant to resume duties after ground-fighting Satan, inspecting Heaven's Marines

Commandant to resume duties after ground-fighting Satan, inspecting Heaven's Marines

Concerns over possibility of another aviator Commandant forced early return

Nov 14, 2023 4 min read paid

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