This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
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Page 32 of 178
Oh, no! This bridezilla wants her bridesmaids in full MOPP 4
LUKE AFB, Ariz.—Tech. Sgt. Ashley Ferris' bridesmaids are reeling after finding out what they would be wearing to her wedding this summer. In a sassy group message, Ferris
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Russian T-14 tanks spotted on the national mall
WASHINGTON—As the nation's capital prepares for President Donald J. Trump's Independence Day military parade, sightseers are being treated to a fleet of military vehicles in
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Audiobook of Army operations field manual hits seven downloads on iTunes
FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan.—The audiobook version of the Army's operations manual, which will drive how the force fights in future large-scale combat operations, received its seventh download
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Drone pilots now authorized to telecommute
LAS VEGAS—Drone pilots will now be able to strike targets anywhere in the world from the comfort of their home. Citing increased flexibility for remotely piloted aircraft operators, Defense
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Pilot trusts feelings, turns off targeting computer, bombs hospital
KANDAHAR—A U.S. Navy pilot turned off his targeting computer during a bombing run and killed four hundred civilians, according to a recent statement issued by public relations. Lt.
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Lieutenant unsure if platoon behaving better or just not getting caught
TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif.— First Lt. Connor Boyd, a weapons platoon commander with Kilo Company, 3rd Battalion, 7th Marines, spent this past Sunday nervously staring at his phone, waiting for the
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Wow! This Colonel just inspired his Marines to not lock their knees and pass out as he talks
CAMP PENDLETON — A Marine colonel has left his mark on the Corps with an inspirational speech before he retired, telling the assembled Marines that they should always "do their
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Army Cyber brigade requests exemption from online training
FORT MEADE, Md.—The Army's most elite cyber operations unit has requested a blanket exemption from conducting mandatory online training, according to several sources familiar with the matter.
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Trailblazing Marine refuses to identify as rifleman
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — In a stunning rebuke of the Marine Corps' "every Marine a rifleman" credo, trailblazing Pvt. First Class John Standle has rejected the label
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Warrior souls searching Valhalla for missing hammer
ASGARD—Valhalla has been on lockdown for the past millennium, as warrior souls have been searching for the missing hammer of Thor, according to Valkyries close to the situation. "
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Guam finally capsizes
THE PACIFIC OCEAN—After years of warnings from Congress, the island of Guam has finally capsized, according to several Department of Defense officials familiar with the matter. Satellite imagery confirmed
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OPINION: I mushroom stamped the moon
50 years ago today, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and I took part in one of the greatest adventures in the history of mankind. Together we landed on the moon, planted
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National Guard general who avoided combat in every war since Vietnam retires
MIST COUNTY, Minn.—After a long career, it is finally time for National Guard Brigadier General James "Lucky" Lawrence to put away his lightly used combat boots. On
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Taliban confirms they won’t visit the White House if they win the war on terror
SHARANA, Afghanistan—Mohammad Omar confirmed in a press conference on Wednesday that the Taliban will not visit the White House if it wins the War on Terror. Omar cited numerous
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Ford announces 'deployment edition' Mustang
THE PENTAGON – Reporters and spectators crowded the River Parade Field as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford, stood beside the president and CEO of Ford Motor
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ISIS militant not promoted after failing to complete suicide awareness training
SYRIA — One of ISIS's top performers was passed up for a promotion yesterday for failing to complete computer-based training on suicide awareness. The decision was internally leaked
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Meet the DOD contractor who has not told anyone he is a retired colonel
THE PENTAGON—Greg Jenson, a government contractor working on the Army staff, has yet to tell his coworkers, supervisors, or the ladies running the snack bar in his corridor that
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Millennials are killing these 7 military traditions
1. The Phalanx Why do millennials hate the ideal military formation, one that managed to create an offensive infantry juggernaut while protecting against frontal assault and cavalry? We don’t
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Green Beret stripped of Special Forces tab after using issued gear
JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash.—U.S. Special Forces Command has announced Sgt. First Class Clifford Randall has been stripped of his Special Forces tab and Bronze Star as a
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Sgt. Maj. ‘Pre-Workout’ just coffee grounds, dip
FORT BENNING, Ga.—Researchers studying the superhuman physical stamina and questionable dental health of a group of 100 sergeants major has concluded that their success can be attributed, in part,
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Greenpeace supports Iran’s seizure of oil tankers
WASHINGTON—Greenpeace released a statement today lauding the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy for its “courageous and necessary” decision to seize two British-operated oil tankers in the Strait of
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Buzz Aldrin to return to moon to find missing space canteen
TRANQUILITY BASE—Fifty years after the first moon landing, astronaut and former Air Force pilot Buzz Aldrin has demanded that he be allowed to retrace his steps and look for
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Military conspiracy theorist can’t believe it’s not butter
SOMEWHERE IN CYBERSPACE—Infamous military conspiracy theorist and U.S. Marine Corps veteran John Lazarus has a problem: He can’t believe it’s not butter. Moreover, Lazarus has a
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Mom of four goes to SERE school, gets amazing sleep
FORT BRAGG, N.C.—Maj. Sandra Jones has been whispered about throughout the SERE—survive, evade, resist, escape—community for weeks, as one of the very few attendees ever who
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JAG officer loses argument in food court
LANGLEY AFB, Va. — Air Force lawyers suffered a major embarrassment yesterday, after Judge Advocate General Capt. Jim Hansard was found guilty in a food court of cutting the line at
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