WASHINGTON — Pentagon officials have quietly confirmed what military personnel have long suspected: Most critical defense-related decisions are made by cats pushing random objects off tables.
The power of cats has been classified for some time meow. However, recent events have forced the Pentagon to declassify what it calls Project Catnip.
"We've decided it was time to stop pussy-footing around," Defense Secretary Mark Esper said. "We think our process is the cat's meow, and we've decided keeping it secret would just neuter our lethality."
